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18 Reasons Scotland And London Should Tell The Rest Of The UK To Fuck Off And Just Go It Alone

Let's bury the hatchet for good and found the Independent Republic of ScotLond.

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5. Plus, you can get an entire Scottish castle for the same price as a Wandsworth flat.

It has a dining room, Grand Hall, billiard room, and a ballroom with a minstrels' gallery that you can use to house Chas and Dave.


14. "But where will I get my delicious, ridiculous, expensive burgers?" It's OK, just look:

This burger is called the Meat Hammer and it will hammer your tastebuds and arteries into sweet, sweet oblivion.

15. And, on the topic of sweet oblivion, we also have plenty of Buckfast.

Everything about this referendum is an effort. "When everything's an effort. You need Buckfast Tonic Wine." #EUref

It's been helping Scottish people forget their troubles for many years.

17. Although you might need to change your world view a bit.

Hi @Scotland do you want to join us? #Londout #LondonIndependence

To clarify: You'll be joining us, not the other way around. We're also happy to take Epsom, Woking, and East Hampshire as well. We have plenty of space.

18. Come on, just admit it. We belong together.

I've quickly designed a logo for our new country: #ScotLond

Please leave Boris Johnson behind though.