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19 Times Susan Calman Was A Fucking Hilarious Scottish Superstar

Even if she doesn't win Strictly, she's WON ALL OF OUR HEARTS.

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1. When she mildly alarmed her Strictly partner Kevin.

"I'm going to be gentle with Kevin 'cause I don't want to scare him off, so we'll start with a light candlelight supper then maybe a bath."

2. And when she made him a bit jealous.

3. When she invented a hot new fashion trend.

It's hot. My bins smell. Went to sort them. Tied a bra around my face as an improvised facemask. Met the postman. Neither of us mentioned it

4. When she shared her views about men.


5. When she came up with this "unlikely line from a thriller" on Mock the Week.

6. And this excellent bit of sports commentary.


7. When she surprised us all with her pet care methods.

8. When she contemplated a sexy new tattoo.


9. And when she admitted her sinister life goal.

My Lesbian To Do List 1. Get married 2. Adopt fifty cats 3. Recycle lots 4. Get tattoo of Clare Balding 5. Destroy…


10. When she described her perfect romantic night in.

11. When she made this hilarious pledge...

If we get to Blackpool I've promised @keviclifton that I'll get "I love Grimsby" tattooed on my foot. Make it so British public. Make it so

12. ...and stuck to it.

And before anyone asks. Yes. I'm getting "I love Grimsby" tattooed on my foot as I promised I would. Just not while I'm dancing!

13. When she was incredibly excited when she found out you could buy playable Tetris T-shirts.

Dave /

14. And when she shared this hilariously extra method for getting to appointments on time.


15. When she chest-bumped Andrew Maxwell.


Well, boob-to-stomach-bumped. But it was still very cute.

16. When she locked horns with Sandi Toksvig.

17. When Stephen Fry gave her "the greatest band in the world" as a clue on QI.

Um, what's so funny, Stephen?

Um, what's so funny, Stephen?

18. When she made this comparison:

Not true: Wee Jimmy could never pull off such a splendid shirt.

19. And when she was proud to be a Glaswegian.

At the shops. A man shouted "Good luck in the dancing wee yin! We'll love you even if you're rubbish" I belong to Glasgow.

Susan, Scotland loves you.


Good luck, you wee sausage sandwich.