24 Things You'll Remember If You Used To Visit Camelot Theme Park
Did you take the piss out of Puff Dragon?
Feeling like an actual goddamn Knight of the Round Table as you approached the entrance to the park.
Trying to pull the sword from the stone, even though you knew it was impossible.
Getting your free map, and having an intense debate about which ride to go on first.
Going on the caterpillar ride by the main gates even though you knew you were a bit too old.
Losing your breakfast on Excalibur 2.
And losing your lunch on The Rack, which was basically just a giant tumble drier.
Sitting at the back of the Dragon Coaster so you weren't overcome by diesel fumes.
Feeling like you were going to fall out of the dinghy while getting drenched on Pendragon's Plunge.
Trying to feed the animals in Squire Bumpkin's Farm, even though you weren't supposed to.
Realising your childhood was at an end the first time you laughed at Puff Dragon's name.
And laughing at this no matter how old you were:
Going on Falcon's Flight with your whole family because it was sedate enough for everyone.
Riding this weird carousel, but not questioning why you were sitting in a cartoon guy's crotch at the time.
Racing your friends on the Go Kart Track and feeling like a Formula One legend.
Clambering through here while your exhausted relatives ate lunch at the food court.
Going on Kingdom In The Clouds just to laugh at all the people getting soaked on Pendragon's Plunge.
Shitting your pants when Knightmare went into that 5G nose dive.
Or, if you visited before 2000, having an equally pant-shitting time on The Tower of Terror.
Getting your photo taken as King Arthur, Guinevere, or some other random character.
Or getting your photo taken with a bird of prey.
Insisting your parents buy you a plastic knight's helmet and sword from the gift shop.
Or literally any number of other bits of tat, like rulers, pens, and plastic keyrings.
Being genuinely impressed and excited by the jousting show.
And, of course, booing the Black Knight as loudly as possible, because you were convinced he was evil.
R.I.P. Camelot (1983 – 2012). Gone, but not forgotten.
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