21 Struggles Anyone Living In Edinburgh During The Festival Will Understand
"Do you want a flyer?" "NO, I live here."
When you first get the Fringe guide, you try – and fail – to set a budget.
Not that it matters, because everything you want to see will sell out immediately.
Even if you manage to get a ticket, you won't find the venue because EVERYTHING HAS A DIFFERENT NAME.
Suddenly, everyone you know wants to visit you.
But you don't have time to entertain them, because you're at work.
That is, if you ever get to work. Being heckled by street performers elongates your commute significantly.
And the tourists don't help either.
Flyering quickly starts to annoy you.
You panic every time the Edinburgh Military Tattoo flyover goes past.
Every time you go outside, you end up saying "hello" to someone who looks familiar, before realising they're a celebrity.
At some point, you'll inevitably accept a lift in a rickshaw.
Two words: drama students.
Your favourite pubs turn into Free Fringe venues.
Where beer costs £7 a pint and is served exclusively in plastic glasses.
Despite the cost, you get drunk on Friday night and end up in a series of increasingly weird free shows.
And don't even think about going for a meal afterwards, unless you actually enjoy queueing.
You realise you can make money by renting your spare room out...
But actually, that's fine, because the shows you get tickets for are great.
And when it all comes to an end, you feel genuinely sad. Even though it means you'll be able to eat in restaurants again.
But, hey: You get to do it all over again next year.
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