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26 Things All Scottish People Do In Winter

"Folk that say they love the cold dark nights are no well."

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1. You scan the weather reports nervously for the words "Hurricane", "Bawbag", and "II".

You're still waiting for your trampoline to come home after the first one.

2. And stock up on essentials just in case.

Instagram: @seanlonge

3. You rush to the shops on 1 September to panic-buy 100 items of winter clothing.

Instagram: @oskielove

4. After all, you can't simply layer your summer clothes: You don't have enough.

Giphy / Touchstone Pictures

Typical Scottish wardrobe: One pair of shorts, one T-shirt, 1,048 North Face jackets.

5. You choose Christmas jumpers based on warmth, not because they're witty or "ironic".

Visit Scotland

6. Mainly because you know you'll be wearing them every day until at least April.

How I look everytime I leave the house at the moment #scottishwinter

7. As a typical Scottish winter starts in mid-September, you're tired of it well before Christmas.

Instagram: @anne_schoumaker

8. And it only starts to sink in that there's a jollier side to winter when you spot your first Advent calendar.

Giphy / New Line Cinema

9. Or when you see the Christmas Irn-Bru advert.

Irn-Bru / Giphy

10. Or when it snows for the first time.

11. But even that novelty wears off after a wee while.

vine.co

12. The long, dark nights mess with your mind.

Not a fan of these dark #winter nights🙅

13. And make it impossible to get up in the morning.

Instagram: @jadeleigh_x_

Nope nope nope.

14. After a while you've got no time for people who go on about how cute and snuggly winter is.

Folk that say they love the cold dark nights are no well, yer granny's snuffed it cause it's that fuckin cauld n yer lit "snuggle weather"

15. The second the weather gets really bad, public transport effectively gives up.

16. And the few buses that do make it through are packed to the rafters with muddy Christmas shoppers.

Instagram: @andrew_fitze_davis

17. Plus the evil drivers never put the heating on.

You know you're in Scotland when an old woman gets on the bus then shouts "FUCK it's cold!" And nobody bats an eyelid.

18. You go into cafes just to get warm...

Instagram: @arina_lazareva_

"Can I have some soup please? To hold, not to eat."

19. ...swap your cold booze for hot booze...

Instagram: @coleno7

20. ...and eat everything in sight because you're convinced being cold also burns calories.

Having a massive fry up at this time canny beat it #ANeverStoleThis #AyeRite #HawHaw p.s my shite will honk after this

21. But nothing seems to work.

Ya ever wanty just wrap yerself up in tin foil nice and cosy and then just fucking get right inty the microwave and blow yerself up tae fuck

22. Going for a short walk requires serious preparation.

Instagram: @tdobsonnet

"Scottish conditions are potentially 100% more extreme than those found in the Alps, in fact they are more like Patagonia, with super high winds."

23. And often it really isn't worth the effort.

Giphy / Popsugar

24. Which is why all your plans inevitably get cancelled.

“@WorldsAdorable: When you wanna play outside but it's raining too hard... ” @sarah_g2000

25. Usually by you.

When I say "Sorry, I have plans" , this is what I have planned

26. Still, when all's said and done at least it's damn beautiful.

For the few hours a day you can actually see the scenery, that is.
Flickr: timeoff / Creative Commons

For the few hours a day you can actually see the scenery, that is.