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    27 Reasons Scotland Needs To Just Stop

    It's time to pack our bags and leave.

    1. Because our seagulls are so out of control they've started chugging other birds.

    2. And if the seagulls don't get you, the armed and dangerous schoolchildren probably will.

    Why, Back To School Solutions, why?

    3. Or the goats.

    4. Because someone in Glasgow thought that this atrocity was an acceptable bathroom advert.

    5. And someone else thought this was a witty, sexy, and classy tattoo.

    Only in scotland hahaha boaby supper 😭😂

    Please stop.

    6. Because there's a terrifying "tweed jacket gang" on the loose in Edinburgh.

    7. And Edinburgh restaurants are literally killing and eating your childhood memories.

    8. Because a biblical plague far more devastating than locusts is about to ruin our lives forever.

    dailymail.co.uk / giphy

    It's OK though: Maybe the killer seagulls will help.

    9. Because when you order a cheeseboard after your meal, you shouldn't be handed this.

    10. Because quirky Edinburgh pop-up bars have finally gone too far.

    Absinthe bar in a horse box by the Meadows. #edfringe #twitter http://t.co/7yRVkx5kHq

    An absinthe horsebox? Can you not.

    11. Because Buckfast korma should not be a thing.

    12. But that's nothing compared to this abomination.

    RT @MarcherLord1: Only in Scotland..... < *head-desk*

    *Gags*

    13. And while we're on the topic: Irn-Bru definitely does not belong in a sausage.

    14. Because even alcohol – our most trusted friend – has started to betray us.

    Also spotted this outside a shop on the Dumbarton Road. Only in Scotland, eh?! ;-)

    When will the madness end?

    15. Because Scottish dogs have learned to drive, and it turns out they're fucking angry (and murderous).

    bbc.co.uk

    Handy reminder: 1. Dogs are evil now. 2. Stay off the roads.

    16. Because some absolute monster decided this was an acceptable way to eat lorne sausage.

    thescottishsun.co.uk

    Salad on a roll and slice: A sure sign of the end times.

    17. Because the annual Scottish trampoline migration is about to start, and it's incredibly dangerous.

    youtube.com / Conor Guichan

    So majestic. So lethal.

    18. And if you're not mowed down by a trampoline, you'll be flattened by a shitfaced Dundonian on a space hopper.

    Seriously: Stay off the roads.

    19. Because takeaway vending machines are a thing now.

    20. Because Glasgow has fallen, its spirit is broken. In short: It no longer exists.

    Facebook: STVGlasgow

    Fucking watering cans. Billy Connolly would turn in his grave if he was dead.

    21. It's sad but true. RIP Glasgow.

    Baked-bean board-drippage at the Glasgow Science Centre, which seemingly hasn't done gravity yet. (Pic: @Britunes83)

    A chopping board. It's a fucking chopping board.

    22. And Edinburgh's no better.

    Mini-shopping-trolley idiocy at a pop-up artisan coffee stall in Edinburgh's Waverley Market. (Pic: Odran Doherty)

    A teeny tiny shopping trolley. Bastards.

    23. Scotland, you've gone past the point of no return.

    Time to name and shame the sandwich rip-off merchants! This pathetic effort cost £3.20 at Edinburgh Airport.

    £3.20 for a microscopic egg disk and bacon wafer on dry bread. Bargain.

    24. No wonder people are losing their minds.

    scotsman.com

    He probably flew into a rage after being charged £14.95 for a baked potato served in an upturned bowler hat.

    25. Did William Wallace really die for our freedom so we could do things like this?

    26. Things really couldn't get much worse.

    27. Even the bins are afraid.

    It's OK, bin. We'll take you with us.

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