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    23 Pissed-Off Confessions From A Scottish Tour Guide

    "OUTLANDER ISN'T REAL!" Phew, sorry, we needed to get that off our chests.

    1. Our job means we're outside most of the day, so we inevitably end up getting soaked all the time.

    2. Although the haar and mist is trickier to deal with.

    3. People constantly show up for tours that involve a lot of walking in unsuitable shoes.

    4. Speaking of walking, we end up doing a lot of extremely exhausting climbs and hikes.

    1300 of these bad boys today. #Stairs #TourGuideProblems

    "Hey Tam, you OK to do the Devil's Staircase tour today?" "Er, sure. Why's it called the Devil's Staircase?" *Tam runs away, laughing / high fiving the other guides.* "Oh."

    5. And no matter how good our shoes are, we end up with feet that feel like they've been beaten with sticks.

    6. We've been verbally abused in nearly every language.

    7. We get asked some pretty dumb questions.

    8. And if you have questions, please, for the love of god, save them up for a quiet moment.

    9. Please don't hit on us while we're trying to do our job.

    10. And we get a bit tired of hearing "OMG, your accent is sooooo cute. Say something Scottish."

    11. While at the same time complaining that they "can't understand us" and to "speak more clearly".

    12. Week-long tours mean seriously long days.

    When the group says they want to add some extra time to the itinerary after a 13 hour day. #tourguideproblems

    Plus, you're usually staying in hostels, so you can't get away from your group. Even if you like them (and we usually do), you need some time to decompress after a day of being asked what kind of vegetable a haggis is, etc.

    13. Not to mention frustrating traffic jams.

    14. We can't give you a refund because of the midges.

    An introduction to highland salmon fishing for Kean from Michigan. And the midges! #FlyFishing #Salmon #Skye

    Sorry. But we can lend you some Jungle Formula and try to find breezy places to show you. Which is why we spend so much time at the top of hills and cliffs.

    15. Also, sorry if this hurts but... OUTLANDER ISN'T REAL AND NEITHER IS JAMIE FRASER.

    16. We get a sixth sense for strange photo opportunities.

    Tour Guide Always Builds In 10 Minutes For Everyone In Group To Mount Cannon Like Horse #tourguideproblems

    If we're going to a castle, people will want a selfie with the castle in the background, and with each and every kilted statue, plus they'll want to sit on the cannons. We just put up with it and take photos of them when they ask.

    17. We have to build in a lot of extra time for people to take photos of cute guys in kilts, as well.

    18. Also, we're often surprised by the weird things you choose to take photos of.

    19. It would be nice if you could put your phones down every so often, though.

    20. We want the ground to open and swallow us up when our tour group act inappropriately.

    21. Although having said that, we won't put up with anyone being shitty to "our" tourists.

    22. At the end of the day, we love showing off our awesome country, and making people happy.

    23. And we hope you come back soon.