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18 Sexy Scottish Burgers That Are Better Than A Boyfriend

Contains NSFW images of some of Scotland's juiciest, smuttiest burgers.

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1. The Durty Waffle at Burger 7.

Burger 7 is a North Lanarkshire chain that focuses on serving up authentic U.S. style barbecue, like this oozingly sexy waffle burger, made with two smoked patties, candied bacon, cheese, Jack Daniels infused BBQ sauce, and homemade Belgian waffles. It's pure filth.

Location: Airdrie and Coatbridge.

2. Man Vs. Burger at Burgers And Beers Grillhouse.

This disgraceful £17.95 monster is the brainchild of a gourmet burger joint on Edinburgh's Royal Mile. It features two 8oz patties, Virginia sweet cured bacon, BBQ pulled pork, two types of cheese, and a couple of onion rings for good measure. They've helpfully included a picture of a man for scale. It's a true whopper.

Location: Edinburgh.

3. The Jalapeño Popper burger at The Boozy Cow.

Facebook: TheBoozyCow

The fantastically-named Boozy Cow have a huge burger menu, and you probably won't be surprised to hear that they sell a great range of cocktails too. This particularly saucy number is their Jalapeño Popper special. It's topped with cheese, deep-fried jalapeños, jalapeño jam, and ranch dressing. Be still my beating heart.

Location: Aberdeen and Edinburgh.

4. The brie and bacon burger at Rascal's Bar.

This hugely over the top stack features two gigantic slabs of brie, which gradually melt all over the two burger patties and thick slices of bacon; swamping them in cheese. The brioche bun adds a touch of class to what is, at the end of the day, a deeply, shamelessly filthy burger that deserves to be punished.

Location: St. Andrews.


5. The Mac n' Cheese burger at Galloway Burger.

If you want a really sexy treat, head to Galloway Burger, where you can get a burger topped with a battered, deep-fried macaroni cheese fritter and lashings of mayonnaise. Is it healthy? No. Is it the most delicious thing you'll ever eat? Definitely. They also do a burger topped with a massive slab of deep-fried haggis too.

Location: Gatehouse of Fleet.

6. The Cajun Spice burger at Grill 48.

For a small town, Dunfermline has a wealth of great quality restaurants, but if you really want to treat yo' self, you shouldn't miss this lavish burger served up by Grill 48. It's made with an entire chicken breast coated in Cajun spices, topped with roasted peppers, cheddar cheese, salsa, chipotle, and prawns.

Location: Dunfermline.

7. The Big Lebowski Burger at Lebowski's.

This filthy behemoth is one of several equally over the top burgers at this Big Lebowski inspired Scottish bar chain. The two fist-sized aged beef patties are topped with lashings of cheese: You can take your pick, but Applewood smoked cheddar works particularly well. Check out James Vs. Burger's blog for a great review.

Location: Edinburgh and Glasgow.

8. The Pastrami Burger at Steak, Cattle and Roll.

This juicy meat stack features two beef patties, a large pile of pastrami, salami, mayo, fried onions, and melted cheese. It's one of several awesome burgers at this popular Glasgow chain. Another favourite is the Texas Tower: Two 9oz cheeseburgers topped with gammon and tarragon sauce.

Location: Glasgow.


9. The NYC burger at El Perro Negro.

El Perro Negro are (slightly elusive) pop-up burger experts who regularly take over kitchens in Glasgow. If you can find them, you're certainly in for a treat, as they've regularly been voted the best burger chefs in the city. This smutty NYC burger is topped with blue cheese, pastrami, and pickles. Phwoar.

Location: Glasgow

10. The Veggie / Vegan Burger at Burger.

This classy burger joint might not have the most imaginative name, but it certainly has the most imaginative burgers. This "meaty" treat is surprisingly meat free. It's made with seitan, vegetable chilli, vegan bacon, jalapeños, onions, tomato, pickle, and chipotle relish. Vegetarians can add some cheese if they want a bit of extra ooze.

Location: Edinburgh and St. Andrews.

11. The Luther Donut Burger at Bread Meats Bread.

Bread Meats Bread are a Scottish chain famed for their decadent burgers, and it doesn't get much more decadent than this double cheeseburger served on a candied bacon doughnut. They also serve a mean poutine, and offer halal and gluten free options.

Location: Edinburgh and Glasgow.

12. The Mofo Burger at Tonic.

Dundee has several good burger bars, but Tonic definitely has the widest range of deeply rude, topping-piled burgers. If this fiery burger with jalapeños and fresh chillis doesn’t appeal to you, don’t worry: They have another 40 varieties to choose from, including a Ghostbusters-inspired marshmallow burger called “Mr Stay Puft”.

Location: Dundee.


13. The Mad Ramen vegan burger at Bar Bloc.

Forget everything you thought you knew about bean burgers: This crazy creation is on another level. The satisfyingly "meaty" bean burger is sandwiched between two chewy, crispy hunks of fried ramen noodles, and topped with vegan cheese, bak choi, pickled ginger, and a black bean and garlic sauce. *Fans self*

Location: Glasgow.

14. The Pork Bun at Burger Meats Bun.

This devilishly spicy creation from popular Scottish chain Burger Meats Bun is certainly no ordinary pulled pork burger. It's topped with firey chillis, hoisin sauce, spring onions, red cabbage, cucumber, and lashings of sriracha. In short, it's a crisp, sweet, spicy feast.

Location: Edinburgh and Glasgow.

15. The Blackhorn Stack at Blackhorn.

Blackhorn is a stylish grill in St. Andrews, not far from Dundee. One of its most popular menu items is this classy Mediterranean-inspired burger topped with two slices of grilled aubergine, lettuce, chilli jam, and goat cheese. It's definitely a taste sensation.

Location: St. Andrews.

16. The triple cheese burger at Byron Burger

Byron Burger is a Britain-wide chain, but it's good to know they have three outlets in Scotland where you can get your ridiculously OTT cheese fix. This deeply rude burger is topped with more melted cheese than you could shake a stick at, as well as Byron's "special sauce." Ooh, what a tease.

Location: Glasgow, Aberdeen, and Edinburgh.

17. The veggie haggis burger at Red Squirrel.

Who said vegetarians couldn't get absolutely disgraceful, smutty burgers? Not Edinburgh craft ale pub Red Squirrel, that's for sure. They've really gone all out with this battered, deep fried chunk of vegetarian haggis, which is topped with lashings of caramelised onions, sour cream, and sweet potato fries. Amazing.

Location: Edinburgh.

18. The Messiah Burger at The Old Inn.

This pornographic burger is one of many equally dirty creations by Meathammer Ltd, the meat-artists-in-residence at the Old Inn, Dunfermline. It's a shameless combination of beef, duck, cheese, eggs, garlic mayo, onions, and red onion marmalade. Seriously, you don't need a relationship: Just marry this hot, sexy beast.

Location: Dunfermline.