38 Reasons You Should Never Visit Scotland

    It's so grey and ugly.

    1. Ignore anyone who says that Scotland is pretty.

    2. As you can see, they're completely wrong.

    3. It's a bleak, ugly, and depressing place.

    4. There's no sense of grandeur or history whatsoever.

    5. Everything is pretty much brand-new.

    6. There's nothing strange, hidden, or mysterious.

    7. Seriously: Does this country even have a past?

    8. If you like beaches, don't bother visiting Scotland.

    9. There are no nice beaches here.

    10. Not a single one.

    11. The public art is boring and unambitious.

    12. And don't even get me started on the buildings. Yawn.

    13. Scotland's inner cities are all scary urban hellholes.

    14. Seriously: Never visit the inner city at night.

    15. It really isn't worth it. Just stay indoors.

    16. There's no interesting wildlife to speak of.

    17. Yep, it's a pretty lifeless place.

    18. Especially the ocean: Nothing to see here.

    19. The food is greasy, horrible, and unhealthy.

    20. There are virtually no fresh ingredients available.

    21. And even if you could get fresh seafood, you certainly wouldn't want to collect it from here.

    22. There are no regional food specialities...

    23. ...and absolutely nothing to drink either.

    24. People definitely don't know how to have a good time in Scotland.

    25. There are no areas of unspoilt natural beauty.

    26. It's a polluted, crowded, and built-up country.

    27. Even the farmland is ugly.

    28. There are no impressive works of engineering.

    29. It's impossible to escape the hustle and bustle.

    30. There is very little to do in Scotland...

    31. ...no visitor attractions or things to see...

    32. ...no exciting festivals or events...

    33. ...and no interesting galleries or museums.

    34. Nope, not a single one.

    35. In short, Scotland is a total cultural wilderness.

    36. Basically, you'd have to be mad to come to Scotland.

    37. It really is the absolute worst.

    38. Yes, Scotland is definitely best avoided at all costs.