1. Ignore anyone who says that Scotland is pretty. Flickr: 127130111@N06 / Creative Commons Old Man of Storr, Isle of Skye. 2. As you can see, they're completely wrong. Flickr: oliver_clarke / Creative Commons Loch Alsh. 3. It's a bleak, ugly, and depressing place. Flickr: jono566 / Creative Commons Beinn Dorain, near Tyndrum. 4. There's no sense of grandeur or history whatsoever. Flickr: 72486075@N00 / Creative Commons St Andrews. 5. Everything is pretty much brand-new. Flickr: cosmicherb70 / Creative Commons The Callanish Stones, Isle of Lewis. 6. There's nothing strange, hidden, or mysterious. Flickr: johndale1971 / Creative Commons Gilmerton Cove. 7. Seriously: Does this country even have a past? Flickr: hagdorned / Creative Commons Roslin Gunpowder Mill, Midlothian. 8. If you like beaches, don't bother visiting Scotland. Flickr: martindelusenet / Creative Commons Shieldaig, Ross and Cromarty. 9. There are no nice beaches here. Flickr: cosmicherb70 / Creative Commons Dail Beag (Dalbeg) Beach, Isle of Lewis. 10. Not a single one. Flickr: iknow-uk / Creative Commons Seilebost, Isle of Harris. 11. The public art is boring and unambitious. Flickr: jono566 / Creative Commons The Kelpies, Grangemouth. 12. And don't even get me started on the buildings. Yawn. Flickr: pjs42 / Creative Commons Clyde Auditorium, SECC, Glasgow. 13. Scotland's inner cities are all scary urban hellholes. Flickr: chrisbarber / Creative Commons Edinburgh. 14. Seriously: Never visit the inner city at night. Flickr: diversey / Creative Commons Glasgow. 15. It really isn't worth it. Just stay indoors. Flickr: malikyounas / Creative Commons Dundee. 16. There's no interesting wildlife to speak of. Flickr: 76382390@N06 / Creative Commons Young stag, Glencoe. 17. Yep, it's a pretty lifeless place. Flickr: 27770620@N02 / Creative Commons Puffins on Handa Island. 18. Especially the ocean: Nothing to see here. Flickr: bellamac / Creative Commons Dolphin, Moray Firth. 19. The food is greasy, horrible, and unhealthy. Flickr: chatiryworld / Creative Commons Ragout of pumpkin, spinach, and cashew nuts on coriander and raisin couscous from Iglu, Edinburgh. 20. There are virtually no fresh ingredients available. Flickr: nestosjp / Creative Commons Shellfish shop, Oban. 21. And even if you could get fresh seafood, you certainly wouldn't want to collect it from here. Flickr: gordon_robertson / Creative Commons Gardenstown Harbour, Aberdeenshire. 22. There are no regional food specialities... Flickr: savagecats / Creative Commons Mellis cheesemonger's in Edinburgh, featuring Auld Lochnagar and Corra Linn. 23. ...and absolutely nothing to drink either. Flickr: scottsimphotography / Creative Commons Whisky display at the Glenlivet Distillery, Speyside. 24. People definitely don't know how to have a good time in Scotland. Flickr: edfilmfest / Creative Commons Ceilidh at The Hub, Edinburgh. 25. There are no areas of unspoilt natural beauty. Flickr: oliver_clarke / Creative Commons Elgol, Isle of Skye. 26. It's a polluted, crowded, and built-up country. Flickr: evocateur / Creative Commons Fairy pools, Isle of Skye. 27. Even the farmland is ugly. Flickr: jono566 / Creative Commons Ayton, Scottish Borders. 28. There are no impressive works of engineering. Flickr: cosmicherb70 / Creative Commons The Forth Rail Bridge, Edinburgh. 29. It's impossible to escape the hustle and bustle. Flickr: aldenchadwick / Creative Commons Loch Muick, Balmoral Estate. 30. There is very little to do in Scotland... Flickr: easylocum / Creative Commons Gourock Golf Club, Inverclyde. 31. ...no visitor attractions or things to see... Flickr: owally / Creative Commons Edradour Distillery, Pitlochry. 32. ...no exciting festivals or events... Flickr: vickyb / Creative Commons Up Helly Aa fire festival, Lerwick, Shetland. 33. ...and no interesting galleries or museums. Flickr: mariancraig / Creative Commons National Museum of Scotland, Edinburgh. 34. Nope, not a single one. Flickr: versevend / Creative Commons Kelvingrove Museum, Glasgow. 35. In short, Scotland is a total cultural wilderness. Flickr: snooksy / Creative Commons Edinburgh International Book Festival. 36. Basically, you'd have to be mad to come to Scotland. Flickr: oliver_clarke / Creative Commons Kyleakin Castle, Isle of Skye. 37. It really is the absolute worst. Flickr: stirlingcouncil / Creative Commons Stirling. 38. Yes, Scotland is definitely best avoided at all costs. Flickr: oliver_clarke / Creative Commons Sligachan, Isle of Skye.