back to top

22 Things Scottish People Have Been Trying To Tell You For Years

We're not as think as you drunk we are.

Posted on

1. Scottish men don't walk around in kilts all the time.

Kilts are for special occasions: We don't wander moodily around the countryside in them (sorry to burst your bubble, ladies), or wear them to do a big shop in ASDA.

2. Our food options aren't limited to deep-fried haggis.

Instagram: @timmyd49

We're a foodie paradise, with amazing cheeses, fresh seafood, and more than a dozen Michelin-starred restaurants, none of which serve munchy boxes.

Advertisement

3. And while we're on the topic, battered Mars bars aren't an integral part of our diet.

en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

In fact, hardly any of us have actually tried one. We just invented them to trick tourists into eating cheap chocolate wrapped in a layer of sticky grease

5. We don't all live in grass-roofed huts.

commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

Our ancestors might have lived in long blackhouses like this, but we have flats. And central heating. And satellite dishes. And windows.

6. We don't all live in a forest or beside a loch, either.

Just 211,340 people live in the Highlands; 1,069,800 live in Edinburgh or Glasgow. We clearly enjoy cramming ourself onto packed buses and paying too much rent.

Advertisement

8. We're not as drunk as you think we are.

Paramount Pictures

We're not all constantly wasted on a cocktail of whisky and Buckfast. At least some of us have to stay sober to run the country, drive buses, and teach children.

9. Scots invented almost everything you enjoy.

Topical Press Agency / Getty Images / BuzzFeed / Netflix

Like the telephone, the television, and the modern two-wheel pedal bicycle, which was invented in the 1800s by a Scottish blacksmith. You're welcome.

10. Most of us can't actually play the bagpipes.

Facebook: theunipiper

Much less flaming bagpipes. And certainly not while balancing on a unicycle. This guy is pretty much the only person who can, and he isn't even Scottish.

Advertisement

16. Scotland isn't in England (or Ireland).

buzzfeed.com

It's in the U.K. We're "united" with England, Northern Ireland, and Wales. We may be small, but we're mighty: Stop assuming we're some kind of tiny third wheel.

Advertisement

18. You could fit the entire population of Scotland into Greater London, and still have some space left over.

London is home to 8.539 million people; Scotland has 5.295 million. We get to spread out over 78,387 km², while Londoners squeeze into 1,572 km². Suckers.

20. It honestly doesn't rain all the time.

Flickr: cosmicherb70 / Creative Commons

This is Dalbeg beach in the Outer Hebrides. Isn't it pretty? The water might freeze your knees off, but at least this proves that we do get sunshine occasionally.

21. We don't go around burning people inside giant wicker men.

British Lion Films

We only did that one time in a movie, so don't worry. You don't need to bring flame-retardant underwear if you visit.

22. And, most importantly, we don't actually say "och aye the noo."

keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk / BuzzFeed

This phrase was invented to take the piss out of our accents. It actually means "oh yes, just now", so it's basically a load of mince. Please stop shouting it at us.

Promoted

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss