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22 Things Scottish People Have Been Trying To Tell You For Years

We're not as think as you drunk we are.

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1. Scottish men don't walk around in kilts all the time.

Starz / BuzzFeed
Starz / BuzzFeed

Kilts are for special occasions: We don't wander moodily around the countryside in them (sorry to burst your bubble, ladies), or wear them to do a big shop in ASDA.

2. Our food options aren't limited to deep-fried haggis.

Instagram: @timmyd49

We're a foodie paradise, with amazing cheeses, fresh seafood, and more than a dozen Michelin-starred restaurants, none of which serve munchy boxes.

3. And while we're on the topic, battered Mars bars aren't an integral part of our diet.

In fact, hardly any of us have actually tried one. We just invented them to trick tourists into eating cheap chocolate wrapped in a layer of sticky grease
en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

In fact, hardly any of us have actually tried one. We just invented them to trick tourists into eating cheap chocolate wrapped in a layer of sticky grease

4. And "Scotch" eggs aren't actually Scottish.

They were invented in the 18th century by posh London department store Fortnum & Mason. They're now mainly eaten by drunk English people at 4am.
upload.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

They were invented in the 18th century by posh London department store Fortnum & Mason. They're now mainly eaten by drunk English people at 4am.

5. We don't all live in grass-roofed huts.

Our ancestors might have lived in long blackhouses like this, but we have flats. And central heating. And satellite dishes. And windows.
commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

Our ancestors might have lived in long blackhouses like this, but we have flats. And central heating. And satellite dishes. And windows.

6. We don't all live in a forest or beside a loch, either.

Pixabay / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed
Thinkstock

Just 211,340 people live in the Highlands; 1,069,800 live in Edinburgh or Glasgow. We clearly enjoy cramming ourself onto packed buses and paying too much rent.

7. We're not all pale and/or ginger.

Newsflash: Not everyone in Scotland is white. In fact, around 4% of the Scottish population is from a minority ethnic background, probably more.
Twitter: @ravisinghka

Newsflash: Not everyone in Scotland is white. In fact, around 4% of the Scottish population is from a minority ethnic background, probably more.

8. We're not as drunk as you think we are.

Paramount Pictures

We're not all constantly wasted on a cocktail of whisky and Buckfast. At least some of us have to stay sober to run the country, drive buses, and teach children.

9. Scots invented almost everything you enjoy.

Like the telephone, the television, and the modern two-wheel pedal bicycle, which was invented in the 1800s by a Scottish blacksmith. You're welcome.
Topical Press Agency / Getty Images / BuzzFeed / Netflix

Like the telephone, the television, and the modern two-wheel pedal bicycle, which was invented in the 1800s by a Scottish blacksmith. You're welcome.

10. Most of us can't actually play the bagpipes.

Much less flaming bagpipes. And certainly not while balancing on a unicycle. This guy is pretty much the only person who can, and he isn't even Scottish.
Facebook: theunipiper

Much less flaming bagpipes. And certainly not while balancing on a unicycle. This guy is pretty much the only person who can, and he isn't even Scottish.

11. Scotland has three different languages.

Well, four if you count Scottish Twitter. There's English, Gaelic, and Scots, which is considered to be a distinct language. There's even a Scots version of Wikipedia.
Twitter: @sal28_

Well, four if you count Scottish Twitter. There's English, Gaelic, and Scots, which is considered to be a distinct language. There's even a Scots version of Wikipedia.

12. But we don't all speak Gaelic.

Only around 57,375 people in Scotland speak Gaelic. But still, it's nice to have road signs that look like something from The Lord of the Rings.
commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

Only around 57,375 people in Scotland speak Gaelic. But still, it's nice to have road signs that look like something from The Lord of the Rings.

13. We don't run around on mountainsides tossing cabers around.

Well, a few people up in the Highlands do, but it's not something you'll stumble upon people doing in an Edinburgh park. It'd be a health and safety nightmare.

14. We don't hate the English.

We're just cross about things they did in the past. And (more recently) David Cameron. Not to mention something called The Vow. But they're OK in general.
imgur.com

We're just cross about things they did in the past. And (more recently) David Cameron. Not to mention something called The Vow. But they're OK in general.

15. We're a nation of (sexy) romantics.

Flickr: jwjensen / Creative Commons
Getty

According to a 2012 survey we're more likely to be content with our relationship than the rest of the UK. So if you marry one of us, we'll stick around.

16. Scotland isn't in England (or Ireland).

It's in the U.K. We're "united" with England, Northern Ireland, and Wales. We may be small, but we're mighty: Stop assuming we're some kind of tiny third wheel.
buzzfeed.com

It's in the U.K. We're "united" with England, Northern Ireland, and Wales. We may be small, but we're mighty: Stop assuming we're some kind of tiny third wheel.

17. Nessie doesn't exist.

Giphy

We don't know anyone who has seen Nessie; Nessie is not real; Nessie was invented to sell tea towels to tourists; stop asking about Nessie.

18. You could fit the entire population of Scotland into Greater London, and still have some space left over.

Channel 4 Films / BuzzFeed
Getty

London is home to 8.539 million people; Scotland has 5.295 million. We get to spread out over 78,387 km², while Londoners squeeze into 1,572 km². Suckers.

19. No, we don't know your friend Morag from Dumfries.

Pixar / Giphy

Our population may be small, but it isn't so small that we know every other Scottish person by name. Sorry.

20. It honestly doesn't rain all the time.

This is Dalbeg beach in the Outer Hebrides. Isn't it pretty? The water might freeze your knees off, but at least this proves that we do get sunshine occasionally.
Flickr: cosmicherb70 / Creative Commons

This is Dalbeg beach in the Outer Hebrides. Isn't it pretty? The water might freeze your knees off, but at least this proves that we do get sunshine occasionally.

21. We don't go around burning people inside giant wicker men.

British Lion Films

We only did that one time in a movie, so don't worry. You don't need to bring flame-retardant underwear if you visit.

22. And, most importantly, we don't actually say "och aye the noo."

This phrase was invented to take the piss out of our accents. It actually means "oh yes, just now", so it's basically a load of mince. Please stop shouting it at us.
keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk / BuzzFeed

This phrase was invented to take the piss out of our accents. It actually means "oh yes, just now", so it's basically a load of mince. Please stop shouting it at us.