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23 Reasons Travelling In Scotland Is A Truly Batshit Experience

If the feral cows don't get you, Bus Porn Man will.

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1. Because our parking rules are, frankly, insane.

2. Because Bus Porn Man is on the loose.

Worst. Superhero. Ever.
Twitter: @euan_mcelwee

Worst. Superhero. Ever.

3. Because our motorways are infested with cows...

BBC

4. ...and half-naked men.

Chris Evans clearly isn't taking his Top Gear departure well.
Twitter: @STVNews

Chris Evans clearly isn't taking his Top Gear departure well.

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5. And our country roads aren't much better either.

Two stags having a square go: Has there ever been a more Scottish sight? *wipes away tear*.
Twitter: @runningsilver

Two stags having a square go: Has there ever been a more Scottish sight? *wipes away tear*.

6. Because our trains are temperamental divas.

Other reasons ScotRail trains have been cancelled: 1) Train asked for a basket of kittens and no basket of kittens was provided, and 2) diesel fuel wasn't organic.
imgur.com

Other reasons ScotRail trains have been cancelled: 1) Train asked for a basket of kittens and no basket of kittens was provided, and 2) diesel fuel wasn't organic.

7. And even if your train isn't cancelled, you have to put up with nonsense like this.

We're all happy to see the drinks trolley, pal. No need to try to hump it.
stv.tv

We're all happy to see the drinks trolley, pal. No need to try to hump it.

8. Not to mention cheeky AF fare dodgers.

Disgraceful.
Twitter: @erasmios

Disgraceful.

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9. Because you're constantly being diverted.

Just look at this terrible traffic chaos on Jura. Nightmare.
reddit.com

Just look at this terrible traffic chaos on Jura. Nightmare.

10. Seriously: There are traffic cones everywhere.

And some of them contain drunk men.
Twitter: @rhodeytony

And some of them contain drunk men.

11. Because our cyclists are all MWI.

Guys: Buckfast is not a sports rehydration drink.
Twitter: @theonly1iknow

Guys: Buckfast is not a sports rehydration drink.

12. Because queueing for a taxi means witnessing scenes like this:

Just...no.
Imgur.com

Just...no.

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13. Because our trains look weird. And hairy.

And there's nowhere to store your luggage.
Twitter: @1974Hamilton

And there's nowhere to store your luggage.

14. Because there's zero leg room on the buses.

Although this guy's found a novel way around it.
Twitter: @justin_bickler

Although this guy's found a novel way around it.

15. And you never know what's lurking under your seat.

"Oh lovely! A free box of maggots!" – no one, ever
imgur.com

"Oh lovely! A free box of maggots!" – no one, ever

16. Plus there's always someone downing a bottle of Buckie.

Has he finished his round? Or is he just starting it? So many questions.
Twitter: @nicolamcleanlol

Has he finished his round? Or is he just starting it? So many questions.

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17. That's if you can even get on a bus, of course.

"Sorry guys, I can't let you on because I'm totally oot my tree."
Dailymail.co.uk

"Sorry guys, I can't let you on because I'm totally oot my tree."

18. Because the nation's dugs have learned how to drive.

And it turns out they're bloody shit at it.
bbc.co.uk

And it turns out they're bloody shit at it.

19. Although to be fair, they're still much better than wazzocks like Devyn.

20. And tossers like this:

Yes, he's playing an iPad racing game while driving. Smh.

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21. Because our bus drivers are batshit.

Shame ye canny filter your terrible life decisions, pal.
scotsman.com

Shame ye canny filter your terrible life decisions, pal.

22. Not to mention incredibly fucking sweary.

Although it was justified in this situation.
imgur.com

Although it was justified in this situation.

23. But hey, at the end of the day, at least they've got a good sense of humour.

Hmmm, maybe travelling in Scotland isn't that bad after all. Keep it up, guys.
glasgowlive.co.uk

Hmmm, maybe travelling in Scotland isn't that bad after all. Keep it up, guys.