back to top

19 Weird AF Things That Make Scottish People Happy

The cock and balls forest on the M74 should be our national mascot.

Posted on

1. Getting a £1 note in your change.

Mainly because it means you can take a photo of it and put it on Facebook: "OMG can you believe these still exist?!?!"
Twitter: @Lynnsweettweet

Mainly because it means you can take a photo of it and put it on Facebook: "OMG can you believe these still exist?!?!"

2. Sticky willie-ing someone.

You're not Scottish if you've never done this. "Hahaha! I stuck a plant to his back! Hahaha! He hasn't noticed! Ha!"
Twitter: @annarzepczynski

You're not Scottish if you've never done this. "Hahaha! I stuck a plant to his back! Hahaha! He hasn't noticed! Ha!"

3. Weird newspaper giveaways.

Instagram: @sweatylettie

"You don't like white pudding, Tam."

"BUT IT'S FREE."

4. That guy in Edinburgh who entertains people by putting his head in a bucket.

Why did my careers adviser never tell me that this was an option?
imgur.com

Why did my careers adviser never tell me that this was an option?

5. Perfectly toasted Mother's Pride with loads of butter.

Scottish Plain absolutely shits all over every other type of bread.
Twitter: @MrMalky

Scottish Plain absolutely shits all over every other type of bread.

6. Seeing a bloke just casually rocking a kilt.

Not going to a wedding or anything, just stoating about in Tesco.
Twitter: @BarbaraBarna

Not going to a wedding or anything, just stoating about in Tesco.

7. Labels, products, and websites written in Scots.

Instagram: @stuartpyper

"Dinnae iron the print, ya numpty!" Nice.

8. Hearing this song.

vine.co

You could have just fallen off a cliff, or discovered you owe £9,983 in back taxes, but if you hear 500 Miles you immediately feel better. "DA DA DA DA!"

9. This exact meal.

Looks shit, tastes amazing, especially if you mash it all together and make it into a piece (using Scottish Plain bread of course).
Twitter: @LiveLoveCeltic

Looks shit, tastes amazing, especially if you mash it all together and make it into a piece (using Scottish Plain bread of course).

10. And these exact sausages.

Instagram: @feliciabrit

Yes, they look like dead wean's fingers, and yes English people laugh at their name, but we know the truth: they're delightful little meaty joy-nuggets.

11. Seeing something tartan that isn't usually tartan.

Instagram: @vansofglasgow

*Wipes away patriotic tear*

12. Finding Irn-Bru when you're overseas.

And you buy it, even though it costs four times as much as it does normally.
Twitter: @scotstralia2017

And you buy it, even though it costs four times as much as it does normally.

13. A Starbucks employee spelling your name right.

Instagram: @scotchbrothx

This only happens about once in a lifetime if you have a Scottish name.

14. Spotting a perfect sky-Saltire like this.

*Pumps fist patriotically*
Twitter: @MeteoLaPau

*Pumps fist patriotically*

15. And seeing Heilan' coos on a beach.

Instagram: @rachcrewe

It just makes you feel so very, very Scottish.

16. Rude place names.

Hur hur hur.

17. Seeing this wine in a shop.

Someone should really tell that company what "ned" means over here.
Twitter: @spoonfulofsugr

Someone should really tell that company what "ned" means over here.

18. Finally reaching this sign.

Not to mention doing the traditional "wait for it, wait for it, woooooaaahhhhh..... YEAAAAAAH!" routine as you approach it. Such fun.
commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

Not to mention doing the traditional "wait for it, wait for it, woooooaaahhhhh..... YEAAAAAAH!" routine as you approach it. Such fun.

19. And, of course, driving past the forest on the M74 that looks like a giant cock and balls.

All hail whoever made the penis forest. They are a true Scottish hero.
Twitter: @Leemidd90

All hail whoever made the penis forest. They are a true Scottish hero.