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21 North-Of-England Habits I Lost When I Moved To Scotland

"Ey up luv, can you mek us a brew?" *Blank stares all round*

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1. Leaving your coat at home on nights out.

Instagram: @mook

You try this once, possibly twice, then realise severe hypothermia isn't really worth the £2 cloakroom fee saving. Also, people give you funny looks.

4. Calling people "luv".

Instagram: @wotmalike

After your flatmate starts leaving you romantic notes, you realise this isn't really a thing in Scotland.


5. Taking offence.

Instagram: @wastedlittledj

If someone calls you a cunt oop north, they're clearly spoiling for a fight, and by 'eck you'll give them one. Here, it just means someone likes (or possibly loves) you.

6. Thinking that "whisky" = Bell's.

Instagram: @sac227

It turns out that whisky isn't just that stuff your nan used to put in hot toddies when you were poorly: It actually comes in quite a wide range of flavours. Who knew?

7. Shortening your sentences.

Instagram: @leecav94

It's hard for Scots to understand your accent anyway, so you soon ditch phrases like "am off t't'shops". Within five years you'll be speaking like a true Scot.


9. Saying "us" instead of "me".

Instagram: @chris_perrie

"Do you want to come to a ceilidh with us?" "Yeah, sure, who else is coming?" *confused silences and stares all round.* It's particularly inconvenient if you're trying to ask someone out on a date, and they think it's a group thing.

10. Thinking you can cope with bad weather.

Instagram: @rian_james

"Pfft, a bit of bad weather doesn't scare me! I'm a northerner! Oh wait, shit, my roof's just come off."

11. Waiting until it actually gets warm to have a picnic.

Instagram: @innes

We're hardy in the North, but we tend to wait until summer to dash to Tesco for a disposable barbecue. In Scotland, anything over 13 degrees is good enough.

12. Going out on Christmas Eve.

Instagram: @yvvvvv

It's too cold for a start. Plus there's not that much going on; people save themselves for New Year. On the plus side, it means you don't have a Christmas Day hangover.


13. Staying in at New Year.

Instagram: @emjarv

...not to mention calling it "New Year". It's Hogmanay, and it's a glorious three-day bender that no sane person should miss out on, even though it's baltic outside.

14. Lying in bed at weekends.

Instagram: @jo_pennell

You don't get that many mountains or castles in the North, so it's hard to resist the temptation to go out and soak in the scenery, as well as bagging a munro or two.

15. Calling grumpy people "mardy".

Instagram: @dukkigifts

It doesn't really make any sense, for one thing. Calling someone "soor-faced" is a bit more satisfying, and also people will understand you.

16. Or accusing people of "mithering" you.

Instagram: @eilidhmckirdy

It means "bother", but it's far too much of a bother to explain what "mithering" actually means, so you go full Scottish and tell them to "get tae fuck" instead.


17. Drinking Boddingtons.

Instagram: @e

It might be the "Cream of Manchester", but let's admit it: It's weak, flat, foamy pish. Tennent's is just as cheap, stronger, and (crucially) fizzy.

18. Feeling like the underdog.

Instagram: @damienmcelvann

As a northerner, you're used to feeling like you're being dicked around by wealthy Londoners, but you soon realise Scots have it just as bad. The North of England should probably team up with Scotland and create an independent state.

21. And, of course, asking people to make you a brew.

Instagram: @heyjacey

They will mishear you EVERY SINGLE TIME and assume you want Irn-Bru, so you adapt and say "cup of tea" instead. But you hate yourself every time you do.