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    Posted on Sep 14, 2016

    21 Insanely Vital Life Skills New Edinburgh Students Must Master

    This really is the only Freshers' Guide you need.

    1. How to make it to your 9am lecture on Thursday after £1 shots at The Cav on Wednesday.

    2. And how to cure a hangover with a plate of Teviot nachos and a 40p pint of coke.

    Twitter: @luucymcquade

    And maybe some potato wedges as well if you're feeling rich.

    3. Or a baked potato from the shop on Cockburn Street.

    tripadvisor.co.uk

    Another vital life skill: Learning to say "Cockburn Street" without giggling.

    4. Figuring out what the hell a ceilidh is.

    Twitter: @EUSAS

    And how to pronounce it.

    5. How to have sex in a bed that's only 90cm wide.

    Facebook: UoELiving

    You have to become a contortionist to avoid smashing your elbows into the wall, and don't even think about letting them sleep over; it's literally impossible.

    6. Starting an essay at 2am and finishing it by 9am, fuelled only by this elixir of life.

    7. And how to reach a minimum essay word count without actually writing anything meaningful.

    Twitter: @deanfluence

    This is particularly useful when writing English literature essays when you haven't actually bothered reading the book.

    8. How to get the most out of Innovative Learning Week.

    Twitter: @ilwhack

    It's a chance to develop skills...by going on a week-long boozy holiday to Maga.

    9. Finding a seat in the uni library...

    Twitter: @mel_korkut

    Answer: Queue outside from 6am, then once you've found one, never leave.

    10. ...or the Library Bar.

    Twitter: @killerpillar

    Answer: Same as above.

    11. How to get your photo on the wall at Piccante.

    Twitter: @Jarrien

    It will be your lasting legacy after you leave Edinburgh.

    12. Learning to enjoy Tennent's.

    13. And learning to love your Snapfax.

    14. How to actually get to the bar in Teviot Underground.

    Twitter: @chooky_birdy

    It's possible, but only if you elbow people in the ribs.

    15. How to shop for a Meadows barbecue.

    16. Navigating the hellish queues in Nicolson Street Tesco.

    cushwakesales.com

    It's got slightly better since they added the self-service tills, but not by much.

    17. How to put together a last-minute Halloween costume using only stuff you can find in here.

    Twitter: @TheTabEdinburgh

    Edinburgh Bargain Stores: Providing students with cheap plastic masks and crap props since 1996. And yes, this photo was taken on Halloween.

    18. Or Armstrong's, if you're feeling flush.

    19. How to block a giant gap in the top of a window with tea towels, old socks, and duct tape.

    roomsforlet.co.uk

    Your landlord: "Oh yeah naw sorry we can't replace the windows because it's like a listed building or some shit."

    20. Kitting out an entire flat with weird plastic boxes, wicker chairs, and old appliances from this shop.

    yelp.co.uk

    It's cheaper than IKEA, and just as easy to get lost.

    21. And, most importantly of all, how to score the most free pizza in Freshers' Week.

    Twitter: @callumleslie92

    This one's easy: Just keep going round the Societies Fair again and again for two days in a row. Whether you're a Fresher, a fourth year, or someone who left university 13 years ago and just really likes free pizza, it works every time.

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