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If These Scottish Tweets Don't Make You Laugh, You're Probably Dead

You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll never look at Lisa Simpson the same way again.

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2.

Theresa May looks like the kinda woman when u where younger and your ball went inty her garden she'd get her husband to go oot and burst it

4.

Innit weird how when ye hate someone everythin they post pisses u off like they tweet "i love soup" n ur like aye a bet ye fuckin do

7.

Mums found drink in my wee brothers room and pulls him up about it and all his reply was "look I really don't have time for this"😂 HOWLIN

12.

Hate they cunts that always try an better ye, u say uv booked Florida an suddenly Janice is goin on a 2week all inclusive tae fuckin Jupiter

15.

Cba, customer asked to return a camo jacket and I said I couldn't see it and she's reported me 🙂

18.

See when people come into my work n go "you're always here" ??? mate a work here, YOU are always here

20.

am so bad for over-packing like yeh al just bring tons more pants in case a pish masel every day that am there

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