You own a Lacoste tracksuit.You've eaten a Munchie Box.It's not Glasgow, it's "Glesga."Your most-used comeback is the phrase: "Yer maw".You've been to an Old Firm match.You chant: "Here we, here we, here we fuckin' go" at gigs.You've seen River City at least once.Your favourite TV show is Still Game.You return ginger bottles to the shop to get the deposit.You know at least ten words that mean drunk ("blootered", "jaked", "malkied").You call shopping "messages".You drink Buckfast on purpose.You've never eaten a bacon roll. It's a roll and bacon.You believe all sausages should be square.You refer to chips as "Glasgow salad".You've eaten a Glasgow oyster.You use "bawbag" as a term of endearment.You've danced with Leo the Raver on Buchanan Street.You drink Irn Bru every single day.Bonus point if you're drinking Irn Bru right now.You call water "cooncil juice."You've been known to drink MD 20:20 by the river.You can pronounce "Milngavie".You've ended more than one night out in the Catty Unders......or Sub Club.You know what "MWI" stands for.You've been known to have a wee donder round The Barras at the weekend.You're always willing to give someone a square go.You respond "did ye, aye?" when you hear a tall tale.You've met Limmy.You are Limmy.You only ever refer to friends by their nicknames: "Awrite Wee Yin, where's Gibsy?"You've sunbathed on the Royal Concert Hall steps...... in 10° weather.You start every sentence with "here" and finish it "by the way".You know at least one person called Tam.You tell lost drivers to "dae a burly", not a "three-point-turn."You stole at least one shopping trolley as a teenager.You use "bawhair" as a unit of measurement.You prefer M&Ds to Alton Towers.You've eaten at the 24-hour Greggs. At 3am.You've been on at least one trip "doon the watter".You call other Scottish people "Teuchters".You signed the petition to keep the cone on the Duke of Wellington's head.You've been to the Garage on Sauchiehall Street.Bonus point: You've been thrown out of The Garage on Sauchiehall Street."Wisnae me" is a legit answer to any allegation.No one outside of Glasgow understands your accent.You've tried Buckfast in a can.Your favourite comedian is Billy Connolly.Your second favourite comedian is Kevin Bridges, or possibly Frankie Boyle.You call your face your "coupon".You say "hingy" when you can't remember a word.You were in a Young Team.You hate Edinburgh.You're deeply horrified if your breakfast doesn't include a tattie scone.You call all women "hen".You prefer curry to haggis.You say "how" instead of "why".You've been to at least one panto starring The Krankies and John Barrowman.You once kicked a burning terrorist in the balls.