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How Much Of An Asshole Is Your Dog?

Does your dog use your carpet as toilet paper?

Posted on
  1. Wikipedia / BuzzFeed

    Tick all the things your dog has done:

    Check
    Pooed in the house
    Check
    Pissed on your sofa
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    Pissed on your bed
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    Chewed up your furniture
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    Chewed up their dog bed
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    Chewed up a toy one second after you bought it
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    Followed you everywhere
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    Barked all night
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    Barked all day
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    Started a fight with another dog
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    Dragged their arse along the carpet
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    Chased a cat
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    Chased a squirrel
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    Jumped up at someone and covered them in mud
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    Refused to come back when you called them
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    Escaped from your house or garden
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    Humped another dog
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    Let another dog hump them
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    Covered you in drool
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    Growled at you
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    Barked at a passerby
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    Thrown up in the car
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    Stolen your food while you're not looking
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    Stolen chocolate, so you had to take it to the vet
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    Knocked over something valuable and broke it
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    Eaten some money or a cheque
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    Scared the postman
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    Covered all your favourite stuff in hair
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    Taken up more of your bed than you do
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    Watched you have sex
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    Jumped on you while you were having sex
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    Howled when shut out of the room because you were having sex, which also put you off
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    Knocked someone over
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    Humped your leg
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    Humped your furniture
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    Humped a stuffed animal
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    Got his "lipstick" out at an inappropriate moment
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    Stole your socks
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    Farted in your face
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    Farted so loudly they scared themself
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    Destroyed something irreplaceable, like a childhood toy
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    Growled when someone tried to pet them
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    Pulled you over while you were walking
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    Rolled in fox, sheep, or horse shit
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    Rolled in their own shit
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    Eaten their own poo
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    Eaten something else's poo
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    Stared at you blankly, making you deeply uncomfortable
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    Shredded a roll of toilet paper
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    Got up on the couch when they weren't allowed
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    Got up on the bed when they weren't allowed
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    Forgotten something you literally just trained them to do
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    Licked your face
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    Licked the inside of your mouth
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    You have a sneaking suspicion that they know exactly how badly behaved they're being
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    But you can't help but love them anyway
 
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