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How Much Of An Asshole Is Your Dog?

Does your dog use your carpet as toilet paper?

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  1. Tick all the things your dog has done:
    Wikipedia / BuzzFeed

    Tick all the things your dog has done:

    Pooed in the house
    Pissed on your sofa
    Pissed on your bed
    Chewed up your furniture
    Chewed up their dog bed
    Chewed up a toy one second after you bought it
    Followed you everywhere
    Barked all night
    Barked all day
    Started a fight with another dog
    Dragged their arse along the carpet
    Chased a cat
    Chased a squirrel
    Jumped up at someone and covered them in mud
    Refused to come back when you called them
    Escaped from your house or garden
    Humped another dog
    Let another dog hump them
    Covered you in drool
    Growled at you
    Barked at a passerby
    Thrown up in the car
    Stolen your food while you're not looking
    Stolen chocolate, so you had to take it to the vet
    Knocked over something valuable and broke it
    Eaten some money or a cheque
    Scared the postman
    Covered all your favourite stuff in hair
    Taken up more of your bed than you do
    Watched you have sex
    Jumped on you while you were having sex
    Howled when shut out of the room because you were having sex, which also put you off
    Knocked someone over
    Humped your leg
    Humped your furniture
    Humped a stuffed animal
    Got his "lipstick" out at an inappropriate moment
    Stole your socks
    Farted in your face
    Farted so loudly they scared themself
    Destroyed something irreplaceable, like a childhood toy
    Growled when someone tried to pet them
    Pulled you over while you were walking
    Rolled in fox, sheep, or horse shit
    Rolled in their own shit
    Eaten their own poo
    Eaten something else's poo
    Stared at you blankly, making you deeply uncomfortable
    Shredded a roll of toilet paper
    Got up on the couch when they weren't allowed
    Got up on the bed when they weren't allowed
    Forgotten something you literally just trained them to do
    Licked your face
    Licked the inside of your mouth
    You have a sneaking suspicion that they know exactly how badly behaved they're being
    But you can't help but love them anyway

How Much Of An Asshole Is Your Dog?

Are you sure you have a real dog and not one of those heroic dogs that rescue children from wells? No? It's just well trained? Show off.

Your dog is a total hero Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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Your dog is an angel sometimes, but an asshat when you least expect it. It's OK, though, because you love their asshat ways. It would be nice if they could stop wiping their arse on the carpet though.

Your dog is a bit of a dick Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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Congratulations! Your dog is one of the biggest dicks around. They steal your dinner, get all up in your business and totally rule the roost, but you love them anyway. It would be great if they could stop shitting on things though.

Your dog is a total dick Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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