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19 Hipster Food Atrocities That Will Make All Scots Go Fucking Radge

Most of these edible abominations happened in Edinburgh, unsurprisingly.

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1. This Maryhill café that serves its juice in a shoe.

"Have you finished your drink yet? I need ma trainer back."
Facebook: surfacepluscafe

"Have you finished your drink yet? I need ma trainer back."

2. And this Glasgow bar, which serves up food and cocktails in vintage gramophones.

Like you do.

3. This "let's-play-up-to-tired-stereotypes" dog.

Have some self-respect, James.
Twitter: @AFraserAllen

Have some self-respect, James.

4. And this haggis dog served on a beef slider served on a cucumber ball served in a Bloody Mary.

That's no way to treat our national dish. And yes, of course this was in Edinburgh.
Twitter: @ichbingoatboy

That's no way to treat our national dish. And yes, of course this was in Edinburgh.

5. This reheated rip-off.

Lasagne, served in its microwaveable plastic tray in a billiecan in an Italian restaurant, Edinburgh. @WeWantPlates

How much cheekier can hipsters get?

6. A Glasgow pub that serves 40p sardines for £6.

Ah, so that's how cheeky they can get. Never mind.
Twitter: @CityliciousUK

Ah, so that's how cheeky they can get. Never mind.

7. This deconstructed flat white from an Edinburgh café.

Do you just chew the coffee while downing the water and sipping the milk?
Facebook: myfrontroomedinburgh

Do you just chew the coffee while downing the water and sipping the milk?

8. And this deconstructed hot dog.

That's not even a flipping hot dog bun. FOR SHAME.
Twitter: @jeanne_darc1

That's not even a flipping hot dog bun. FOR SHAME.

9. This so-called "full Scottish breakfast", served to an unsuspecting diner in Edinburgh.

Link sausages? Potatoes? Pancakes? No. Where's the lorne? Where's the tattie scones? Where's the humanity? *Calls the police*
Twitter: @Scubee

Link sausages? Potatoes? Pancakes? No. Where's the lorne? Where's the tattie scones? Where's the humanity? *Calls the police*

10. This haggis bonbon hanging over a spinach velouté.

What's wrong with neeps, tatties, or plates?
Twitter: @sezl

What's wrong with neeps, tatties, or plates?

11. Not to mention this bizarre presentation.

Croquettes served on a picture in a frame... Uh I think @WeWantPlates! #Edinburgh

It's not even a nice picture.

12. This "kale salt" at an Edinburgh deli.

"Do you know what this salt needs? More kale." – No one, ever.
Twitter: @glynhudson

"Do you know what this salt needs? More kale." – No one, ever.

13. This deconstructed Glasgow cheesecake.

"I'll have a jar of cream and some crumbs on a slate, please!" "Coming right up."
Twitter: @Mawheid

"I'll have a jar of cream and some crumbs on a slate, please!" "Coming right up."

14. This ludicrous mugotto from an Edinburgh pub.

"Our special today is risotto in a mug." "Why is it special?" "It's in a mug." (Pic: @AFraserAllen)

15. This frankly insane way to serve broth.

@WeWantPlates chicken broth, "percolating" in Edinburgh. 😐

It's hot chicken water, not a pour-over, single-origin Macau espresso.

16. These flower pot chips from a Glasgow bar.

Mmm, soily.
Twitter: @sheby

Mmm, soily.

17. This pint of haggis in a sweaty glass.

With a mysterious sauce that looks like blood or tar. So traditional!
Twitter: @deaddawg64

With a mysterious sauce that looks like blood or tar. So traditional!

18. This bollocks.

Mini-shopping-trolley idiocy at a pop-up artisan coffee stall in Edinburgh's Waverley Market. (Pic: Odran Doherty)

*Shakes head so violently it falls off*

19. And, worst of all, this "cup" of "tea".

Some people just want to watch the world burn.
Twitter: @robmanuel

Some people just want to watch the world burn.