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Here's Why I Could Never, Ever Be A Nurse

Poop, 18-hour shifts, and doctors' handwriting: It's literally the toughest job on Earth.

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1. Firstly, they have to deal with far too much poop.

Oh, and they also have to categorise it by shape and mushiness: there's a whole chart dedicated to it. No one needs so much poo in their lives.
Facebook: Nursingandstudentmemes

Oh, and they also have to categorise it by shape and mushiness: there's a whole chart dedicated to it. No one needs so much poo in their lives.

2. And touch it too. Not to mention various other fluids.

"Is this gloopy stuff bile, vomit, spunk, or canteen custard? Can't tell."

3. They see gross, alarming things EVERY SINGLE DAY.

imgur.com

This is actually a picture of a fake cosplay wound. All of the real gross things that nurses see were way too gross to put in this article. Go figure.

4. Being around sick people means they get sick too.

I LOVE FALL/FLU SEASON. #SaidNoNurseEver

Flu season = kryptonite for nurses.

5. They don't get paid nearly enough for the job they do.

Instagram: @nurselifeprn

Especially given all the poop they have to deal with.

6. Plus, bosses try to fob them off with incentives and free food instead of pay rises and compensation.

You can't pay rent with pizza.
Imgur.com

You can't pay rent with pizza.

7. They don't get praised or valued nearly enough, either.

By managers and senior staff, that is. Patients are usually pretty grateful to have their lives saved and their poop looked at.
Twitter: @nursingmemes

By managers and senior staff, that is. Patients are usually pretty grateful to have their lives saved and their poop looked at.

8. Their shifts are seriously long. And exhausting.

18-hour shifts, night shifts, weekend shifts...the pain is endless.
imgur.com

18-hour shifts, night shifts, weekend shifts...the pain is endless.

9. And because they're always on their feet, they have to buy expensive shoes that look like this:

Apparently you can put a price on comfort, and that price is £120 for something that looks like it came from a branch of Frankenstein's Foot Locker.
Twitter: @zoe_blackstone

Apparently you can put a price on comfort, and that price is £120 for something that looks like it came from a branch of Frankenstein's Foot Locker.

10. Plus, in all that time they barely get a single break.

Instagram: @nurseabnormalities

*Picks up sandwich* *Lifts it to mouth* *Patient starts to code* *Drops sandwich*

11. Not least because they spend so much time charting.

Bet they see patient charts every time they shut their eyes.
Imgflip.com

Bet they see patient charts every time they shut their eyes.

12. Shift work makes it really hard to have a social life.

Looking at your schedule and realise that the only day you have free to hang out with your friends is a random Tuesday in September? No thanks.
Twitter: @KeatsTheGeek

Looking at your schedule and realise that the only day you have free to hang out with your friends is a random Tuesday in September? No thanks.

13. They don't even get major holidays off.

No one wants to have to spend Christmas dinner crying into a dry meal deal sandwich while 100 patients simultaneously press a buzzer.
Twitter: @NursingMemes

No one wants to have to spend Christmas dinner crying into a dry meal deal sandwich while 100 patients simultaneously press a buzzer.

14. Their friends constantly ask them for advice.

Usually in the form of gross photos texted to them during dinner. Thanks, pal.
Twitter: @malenurseprobs

Usually in the form of gross photos texted to them during dinner. Thanks, pal.

15. They have to deal with some seriously misguided people...

It must be so hard not to roll your eyes when a frat pledge comes in after trying and failing to ride a shopping trolley down a sloping roof. While drunk.
imgur.com

It must be so hard not to roll your eyes when a frat pledge comes in after trying and failing to ride a shopping trolley down a sloping roof. While drunk.

16. ...who often think they know way more than nurses.

This is mainly thanks to a combination of googling their symptoms, and thinking nurses are somehow less knowledgeable than doctors. Which isn't the case.
NBC

This is mainly thanks to a combination of googling their symptoms, and thinking nurses are somehow less knowledgeable than doctors. Which isn't the case.

17. And some patients' families can be even worse.

IF YOU'RE NOT SICK GET OUT OF THE ROOM.
Twitter: @travelnursing14

IF YOU'RE NOT SICK GET OUT OF THE ROOM.

18. Nurses also have to deal with bad-tempered doctors.

Er yeah cheers OK thought we were on the same team here. Cool.
NBC / Imgflip.com

Er yeah cheers OK thought we were on the same team here. Cool.

19. And their messed-up handwriting.

Why do they write in complex hieroglyphs? Are they all ancient Egyptians?
Twitter: @maulutero

Why do they write in complex hieroglyphs? Are they all ancient Egyptians?

20. Yep, all in all it's probably one of the hardest jobs around.

This does not look fun.
Twitter: @Presidioagency

This does not look fun.

21. Understandably, it all gets a bit too much for them at times.

Being responsible for so many lives must be stressful AF.
FOX / Twitter: @nursingproblems

Being responsible for so many lives must be stressful AF.

22. And TBH, I know I'm not tough enough to do it.

Thank goodness there are some people who are.