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21 Gifts That Prove Harrods Has Finally Lost Its Fucking Mind

Because everyone needs a solid gold Xbox or some £3,000 diamante Uggs.

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1. A £200,000 bottle of red wine.

Perfect for mulling: just stick a clove orange and some Lidl brandy in it. Job done.
Twitter: @BobBradleyMusic

Perfect for mulling: just stick a clove orange and some Lidl brandy in it. Job done.

2. These £3,000 Swarovski crystal-studded Ugg boots.

The blurb says "Partner them with designer denim for weekend errands." Sure. Because you're going to wear these to Tesco and not, say, keep them in a safe.
harrods.com

The blurb says "Partner them with designer denim for weekend errands." Sure. Because you're going to wear these to Tesco and not, say, keep them in a safe.

3. A £1,797 solid gold Xbox One.

Zomg so cheap!!!1!
Twitter: @Richard31337

Zomg so cheap!!!1!

4. Or this £125,000 racing game.

For £125,000 you could buy a real race car. And Lewis Hamilton.
Twitter: @mcfcman66

For £125,000 you could buy a real race car. And Lewis Hamilton.

5. This £325 formal business suit. For a baby.

Because you're never too young to prepare for your first job interview.
harrods.com

Because you're never too young to prepare for your first job interview.

6. This £8,170 kid's party dress.

Which definitely won't get dirty or anything.
Twitter: @georgeisediting

Which definitely won't get dirty or anything.

7. A £700 four-poster dog bed.

Lovingly hand-crafted from an old pair of MC Hammer's pants.
Twitter: @superstructure1

Lovingly hand-crafted from an old pair of MC Hammer's pants.

8. This £9,000 Wedgwood advent calendar.

To be fair, it does have handcrafted Christmas ornaments behind each window. But you'd still prefer chocolate, wouldn't you?
harrods.com

To be fair, it does have handcrafted Christmas ornaments behind each window. But you'd still prefer chocolate, wouldn't you?

9. This £3,355 backgammon set.

Which goes perfectly with their matching £3,000 Boggle set, and gold-plated, emerald-studded Hungry Hungry Hippos game.**OK fine, these don't exist. Yet.
harrods.com

Which goes perfectly with their matching £3,000 Boggle set, and gold-plated, emerald-studded Hungry Hungry Hippos game.*

*OK fine, these don't exist. Yet.

10. An £85,000 Ultra HD TV.

Just imagine watching the Mrs Brown's Boys Christmas special on that.
Twitter: @switchedonprod

Just imagine watching the Mrs Brown's Boys Christmas special on that.

11. A £2,493 silver-plated teapot.

Which appears to depict a man interfering with a camel.
harrods.com

Which appears to depict a man interfering with a camel.

12. This £1,400 stuffed dog made from rabbit fur.

Because kids love creepy, two-legged toy dogs made from dead bunnies.
harrods.com

Because kids love creepy, two-legged toy dogs made from dead bunnies.

13. Harambe.

R.I.P. :'(

14. This £1,190 scented candle by Lalique.

You would burn this, and then it would be gone. And you would have nothing but an empty box and the lingering scent of ambergris, patchouli, and regret.
harrods.com

You would burn this, and then it would be gone. And you would have nothing but an empty box and the lingering scent of ambergris, patchouli, and regret.

15. A ten grand suitcase.

The ideal way to transport all of your Lalique candles and solid gold hats.
Twitter: @GlennG1959

The ideal way to transport all of your Lalique candles and solid gold hats.

16. A set of £1,299 Christmas crackers.

They're the very spirit of austerity.

17. A panther Christmas decoration for £249.

So festive.

18. Snowmist tea, £5,000 per kilo.

This tea is grown "high in India's Happy Valley" and is "perfect for enjoying on chilly, winter nights". While simultaneously throwing £50 notes on the fire.

This tea is grown "high in India's Happy Valley" and is "perfect for enjoying on chilly, winter nights". While simultaneously throwing £50 notes on the fire.

19. These dazzling £1,799 loafers.

So practical.

20. This £85,000 castle playhouse.

Which is the same price as a two-bedroom terraced house in Bradford.
Twitter: @Gav_P_Anderson

Which is the same price as a two-bedroom terraced house in Bradford.

21. And finally, this £420,000...thing.

You could put it on top of your tree! Or, you know, kill it with fire. One of the two.
Twitter: @R_wtBell

You could put it on top of your tree! Or, you know, kill it with fire. One of the two.