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19 Strange Quirks You Have To Get Used To If You're Dating A Scot

A guide for non-Scottish girlfriends, husbands, wives, boyfriends, and fuck-buds.

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2. We'll swear at you all the time.

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But it's OK though, because "bawbag", "cunt", and "twat" are terms of endearment.

6. And we're even more direct in the bedroom.

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We're a saucy, earthy, rude, and sexy bunch. So fasten your seatbelts, you're in for the ride of your life. Just let us finish this haggis tikka masala first.

7. We're programmed to start drinking at certain times.

Twitter: @liam_mcroy

If you question this, we'll usually say, "but that's just what you do."

E.g. "Why are you getting shit-your-pants drunk on the train?"

"Because that's just what you do."

8. We'll force-feed you something called Irn-Bru if you ever have a hangover.

Instagram: @muggleborn_ravenclaw

It's a traditional delicious combination of girders, orange food colouring, and ????. You'll need to learn to love it if you're going to keep up with our train drinking.

9. You probably won't be able to understand us, at least at first.

Twitter: @JonathanOHaara

This will cause a lot of confusion, especially when we're trying to fire into you. "Gies a winch." "I'm sorry, I don't have any specialist lifting equipment to hand."

11. We'll make you go to things called "ceilidhs".

Twitter: @BorlandCeilidh

These are hot, exhausting dances that are fairly baffling to outsiders, or anyone who doesn't speak the lingo, so we'll naturally take you to one on a date.

12. Oh, and our idea of a fun day trip is to climb up a fucking mountain or some shit.

Twitter: @WRunstrong

"Hey, do you want to hang out on Saturday?"

"Sure! Netflix and chill?"

"No, Ben Nevis and nearly die."

13. Our idea of what counts as "beach weather" might not really match yours, either.

Twitter: @PetraTW

It's a Scottish tradition to go to the beach in March, huddle under a tarpaulin, and pretend to be having a good time. Sorry in advance.

14. Our weird behaviour at sporting events can be a bit hard to get used to.

Instagram: @martynazarzeczna

"Why have you got a fake penis hanging out of the bottom of your kilt, Rab?"

"Because Scotland are playing Croatia."

15. We'll get annoyed with you for the weirdest reasons.

Twitter: @philipnormal

Like calling it a potato scone instead of a tattie scone. Top tip: Keep a notebook handy at all times so you can keep track of the things you shouldn't say.

16. And you might find that we don't even like things that you thought we loved.

Instagram: @lyssiehoff

Please add Braveheart to your list of things you shouldn't say or mention.

17. We'll try to force you to adopt our culture.

Instagram: @blessed

And get a wee bit offended if you don't want to wear a kilt, or get wasted on the 15:45 First Scotrail service from Edinburgh Waverley to Glasgow Queen Street.

18. And we're not traditionally romantic.

Instagram: @rosie_marsh

But you always know we love you really. We show it with our gestures (like bringing you Maccy D's and Irn-Bru in bed), not our sweary words.

19. But don't be fooled – we can surprise you and pull out all the romantic stops when it counts.

Instagram: @megzah2428

Not pictured: the "happy wedding day, bawbag" card he gave her earlier.

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