1. When you get on board to find welcoming train-gifts.
Beautiful train today @ScotRail ! And a used plaster on the seat opposite! #cleanliness #NotMyMess #ScotFail #sticky
2. Or – even better – complimentary refreshments.
@t_hom_as They've very kindly provided refreshments on the 1823 to Balloch :-) #ScotFail
3. When you'd quite like to read your book or paper, but the driver is like: "LOL NOPE."
I wonder if Abelio will turn the lights on when the train leaves central @ScotRail #Scotfail
4. When someone hogs the almost-useless teeny tiny table so you can't put down your coffee.
Not sure when this became acceptable @ScotRail #dogonthetable #onlyinglasgow @scotfail
5. And someone else thinks: "Hey! I know what everyone would love to smell! My FEET."
Nice shoes mate, ever tried them on? #ScotFail
6. When you go to put your luggage in the rack, but it's full of carefully stacked children.
Loads of seats left on this train… #Scotfail
7. When you're trying to enjoy the comparative peace of first class, but get distracted by the '90s curtains.
Why do @ScotRail train curtains look like Mrs Doubtfire's skirt?! #scotfail
8. When the rush-hour crush puts the tube to shame.
@ScotRail only 2 carriages again home EDN>GLA. terrible service, absolute joke #ScotFail
9. When you try to use a ticket barrier, but feel it's being slightly threatening towards you.
Kind of insensitive to those in wheelchairs @scotrail #scotfail
10. When it's 8:30am and a fellow passenger's already had a few shandies.
Some1 either started v early on the booze this morning or the cleaners were a bit sleepy & missed this...! @ScotRail
11. When you're trying to use the Wi-Fi, but get trapped in a giant paradox instead.
The wonders of #ScotFail logic http://t.co/C1Kin6O7q3
12. So you end up having to make your own entertainment.
Guy sitting next to me on the train is reading his crisp packet to pass the time. #ScotFail #AsYeDo #Mmhmm
13. When you need to work out a complex mathematical equation to find out the next station.
scotrail you are drunk, go home.
14. When you really need a wee, but you're not sure if D has reached Q yet.
#Scotfail @scotrail 16 hrs service between cleans. THAT'S why they usually smell like a rotten badger.
15. So you brave it anyway, and end up in the worst situation of your entire adult life.
@ScotRail what a journey tonight Glasgow Aberdeen broken trains Toilets overflowing
16. When you see a fare-dodger but you're not sure whether to report them.
@ScotRail seems this ingenious passenger foiled your 'Revenue Protection' measures
17. When you check to see if your train is on time and it is, but ScotRail apologise to you anyway.
Scotrail are making "sorry" meaningless, by apologising even when things are working. (via @iamdelboy) #Scotfail
18. When simply trying to get from Glasgow to Milngavie turns into an epic battle against fate.
Texts from a mate who's stranded at Glasgow Queen Street due to Scotrails failure to lay on enough trains #scotfail
19. When the person who sells you your ticket wants to make it clear they find you terribly dull.
"Issued to: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" cheers ticketman! #Zzzz #Scotrail #Scotfail
20. When ScotRail decides your home town needs rebranding.
Hey @scotrail yr engineering posters have renamed Airdrie to Airdire... #scotfail
21. When you get to the ticket machines at precisely the wrong time in the morning.
#scotfail @ScotRail current ticket que in Queen Street!
22. When someone gets on with their Maccy D's and it stinks out the whole carriage.
23. When you realise you weren't invited to a truly epic party.
1548 GLC train to East Kilbride full of buckfast and cider empties @scotrail - just one table
24. When you're the innocent victim of Ultra-Manspreading.
Gutted I you're the girl sitting infront of this guy. Another type of #scotfail #pervthrustposition
25. Or the inevitable person playing house music through a tiny, tinny speaker.
RT @TheDenDon: Wot I'm listening to, while drinking my beer illegally on #scotfail.
26. When you decide to make the concertina-bit between carriages your own personal sanctum.
Lucky enough to get a seat on the luggage rack this morning. Others making do with the floor @ScotRail,
27. And, of course, when you JUST WANT TO GET HOME PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Tweets can't express How pissed off I am. Shambles. @ScotRail. 2h delay and a Taxi required