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We Asked Non-Scots To React To Photos Of Edinburgh And Things Got Weird

Everyone was freaked out by haggis pizza.

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We sent 12 uncaptioned photos of Edinburgh to BuzzFeed offices in the US, Canada, Australia, Brazil, and London and asked them to write down the first thing that came into their heads. Twenty-two people replied. This is what they said.

1. Beltane Fire Festival

Flickr: duckydebs / Creative Commons

Hayes (Washington, DC): This has got to be the weirdest orgy I have ever seen.

Sarah (Toronto): That devil is clearly roasting a large marshmallow.

Grace (New York): Comic-Con is weird for you guys.

Matt (London): Is this Bjork's latest album cover?

Simon (Australia): Hearts vs Hibs was much more tasty in the 80s.

Tom P (London): Fucking student drama groups.

2. Chips with salt n' sauce

Andrew (New York): Stir-fried tofu with some sweet and sour sauce to top it off?

Matt (London): It won't make me live longer, but I want it.

Tabatha (London): GET IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW. That looks bloody delicious.

Hayes (Washington, DC): I think I want to eat that. But part of me is still distrusting. Is there haggis under there or something?

Sophie (London): Needs cheese and bacon.

Sarah (Toronto): A sad version of poutine.

3. The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo

Flickr: xlibber / Creative Commons

Hayes (Washington, DC): The annual presenting of the House Cup at Hogwarts?

Matt (London): Scotland rehearsing for their Eurovision song entry?

Grace (New York): The flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz are doing a flashmob.

Alex (London): The Scottish wildlings are lining up, preparing to storm the Wall, overrun Castle Black, and eventually claim the North for their own.

Andrew (New York): Is this Edinburgh men's fashion week?

Tom P (London): Fucking student drama groups.


4. Arthur's Seat

Chameleonpaint / Getty Images

Flo (London): Is this the place where Emmerdale is set? Is that in Scotland?

Andrew (New York): This looks like a cute little village about to endure a massive landslide.

Hayes (Washington, DC): "Everything the light touches is our kingdom." "What about that shadowy place?" "That's Glasgow. You must never go there."

Tom P (London): Arthur was a bastard who put his seat in a really inconvenient place.

Tabatha (London): That makes me feel very jealous, and like I would very much like to live in Scotland and climb up that mountain once a day.

5. Edinburgh Zoo's Penguin Parade

Flickr: tompagenet / Creative Commons

Hayes (Washington, DC): "Yes, hello, we are clearly insanely lost. Please help."

Tabatha (London): They're just seven lads trying to get you to come see their Fringe show.

Clarissa (Brazil): Does every creature in Edinburgh always present themselves in some sort of formation?


Grace (New York): Is this your police force? So cute!

Alex (London): This is how Scottish people play skittles. It's a little cruel if you ask me.

6. Cosmo's haggis pizza.

Flickr: jimwolffman / Creative Commons

Clarissa (Brazil): NO FUCKING WAY would I eat this, I am very aware of what haggis means.

Hayes (Washington, DC): Why, Scotland? Who hurt you?

Alex (London): "A superb combination of Scotland and Italy" – lol. I'd definitely try it though.

Jessica (San Francisco): I think if you're going to eat haggis, it should be in its purest, most disgusting original form and NOT disguised as delicious pizza.

Maggy (London): I would maybe eat this, but only if I was really really drunk, and blindfolded.


7. An Edinburgh tram

Flickr: 34085730@N06 / Creative Commons

Chris (New York): WHAT ARE YOU?

Scott (London): An overpriced thing to build, but my god I want to have a ride in one.

Jessica (San Francisco): Way nicer than any public transport in America.

Alex (London): Weren't the Edinburgh trams just a massive fuck-up or something? When I went there I didn't even see one.

Simon (Australia): #$@&%*!

Tom P (London): Hahahahahahahaha, yes that was definitely worth the 100 billion pounds you spent on it and the 37 years of construction.


8. The Loony Dook

Flickr: the-majestic-fool / Creative Commons

Hayes (Washington, DC): Ah, yes, the traditional scolding of the bridge. "GET OUT OF HERE, BRIDGE. WHO NEEDS YOU?"

Tabatha (London): Someone has died, and the Scots are performing a traditional Viking sending-someone-to-the-afterlife ceremony.

Andrew (New York): Silly people, don't they know the Loch Ness Monster will eat them?

Simon (Australia): Some stupid c*nts are trying to emigrate to North Queensferry.

Grace (New York): Everyone is fleeing Scotland.

Maggy (London): Whenever Andy Murray wins a tournament people run into this body of water.

9. The Greyfriars Bobby memorial

Flickr: aimeeorleans / Creative Commons

Chris (New York): Sweet, sweet Bobby. Guarding his favourite bar.

Scott (London): I AM YOUR GOD.

Jessica (San Francisco): My face when I see the server carrying a tray of food and I think it's ours.

Sarah (Toronto) and Grace (New York): Is that the mayor of Edinburgh?

Hayes (Washington, DC): Brb rewatching Jurassic Bark.

Alex (London): That dog has human eyes and it's really weird.

10. The Edinburgh Fringe

Flickr: aigle_dore / Creative Commons

Alex (London): This is the Scottish answer to WWE. They can't afford a ring so it's just performed in the street inside a circle of humans. Most of the competitors die.

Scott (London): This is the Fringe, which is brilliant and everything but I NEVER MANAGE TO ATTEND AND I AM GUTTED.

Hayes (Washington, DC): [insert yet another Harry Potter joke here]

Flo (London): This look likes those street entertainers they have in Covent Garden. I hate them.

Simon (Australia): A bunch of posh English student wankers getting in my way.

11. The Scottish Parliament Building / Creative Commons

Clarissa (Brazil): Seems like the architect let his (or her) 2-year-old kid finish the project.

Tabatha (London): Like, it was probably a great idea in the '70s.

Alex (London): This looks like one of those university buildings that they try to make look really modern but five years later just ends up looking dated and shit.

Jessica (San Francisco): Something that's the result of too much whisky at the architecture office.

Scott (London): The 10 billion pound parliament.

Sophie (London): It looks like it was designed on MS Paint.

12. A deep-fried Mars bar / Creative Commons

Matt (London): Battered turd?

Hayes (Washington, DC): What the actual hell. Is this a fried meat twinkie?

Grace (New York): Someone threw up in that burrito.

Jessica (San Francisco): I think this will swiftly kill me, but GAHHHHH PUT IN IN MY STOMACH.

Tabatha (London): I know you guys don't actually eat these, but if I were Scottish I 100% would. It looks really, really delicious.

Sophie (London): Nope nope nope.