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22 Brutally Honest Confessions From A Massage Therapist

Please stop asking for hand jobs, guys. It's not going to happen.

1. Never, ever call us a "masseuse" or "masseur".

2. We absolutely don't do sex stuff, so stop asking.

3. But patients sometimes get a bit "handsy" anyway.

4. We don't care if you haven't shaved.

5. Please don't feel self-conscious about your weight.

Starting to think about my massage, always feel self conscious about someone having to rub my fat. Gross.

Every person to us is really a collection of muscles and knots we need to work on. We’re not judging you, we just want to help make your body feel at its best.

6. We're not too bothered by zits, either.

7. People assume it's a very easy job, but it isn't.

8. In fact, we wish we could massage ourselves.

9. It can be emotionally draining as well.

10. A lot of clients aren't exactly fresh-smelling.

11. People fart all the time.

12. People moan and grunt. And yes, it's awkward.

13. Then there are ones who "forget" their wallet.

14. We have to make sure our nails are super short.

15. A little cut on our hand can ruin our whole week.

16. It's not exactly a stable or reliable job.

17. Please just tell us if you don't like something.

18. Our friends are always mooching for free massages.

19. And we spend way too much time doing laundry.

20. We sometimes uncover serious health complaints.

21. People who don't relax or sit still drive us crazy.

22. But at the end of the day, we love what we do.

This post was compiled with the help of a licensed massage therapist in Scotland with 12 years' experience, and who currently runs their own business.