1.
friend: "hey let's go out tonight" me: "can't, I'm at my dog's birthday party"
2.
This guy got on the bus and just stared at me and Lulabelle on my lap for a solid 30 seconds then goes “are you all… https://t.co/fsGw2YvQRL
3.
DATE: my eyes are up here ME: [imediately looking up from their dog] sorry
4.
this picture is supposed to be a meme but honestly this dog looks so sad who are the people flipping him off I'm tr… https://t.co/vT1WeJ9yTY
5.
I unconsciously smile at people's dogs as they walk them down the street. Recently I smiled at a man's dog as I was… https://t.co/GGgOMqJGiA
6.
my dad has been telling me for years about various friendly encounters with Mike, another resident of his apartment… https://t.co/OtaiWyvfYQ
7.
I wrote a song about your dog it's called give him to me
8.
made a virtual reality game where you pet a dog. thats it thats the whole game
9.
me: any historical figure? wizard: that’s right [later at dinner] Beethoven: you seem disappointed me: *hiding dog treats* it’s fine
10.
[makes a little voodoo doll of my neighbor's dog and pets it]
11.
every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby
12.
13.
"can i see ur phone" uh ok one sec
14.
Interviewer: u worked in sales before? Me: yeah Interviewer: what's your background? Me [gets phone out]: picture of my dog eating spaghetti
15.
fireman: ok so we extinguished the house fire me: did u bring the Dalmatian fireman: what? we just saved your life me: where's the dog
16.
my dad had the dog sit up front while me and my mom and brother sit in the back
17.
accountant: "youre basically broke" wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff" me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"
18.
yeah i love BDSM, Big Dogs and Small Mdogs
19.
[1st date] Maybe next time i could meet your dog [2nd date] Your dog is so cool [3rd date] Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you
20.
I'M AT THIS PUMPKIN PATCH IN CULVER CITY AND THIS GUY IS TRULY HAVING A FULL ON PHOTOSHOOT WITH HIS DOG
21.
"Bro check out that DILP." "Where? Wait what's a DILP?" "Dog I'd Like to Pet."
22.
I saw the most beautiful baby on the tube earlier
23.
U don't even need a dog to go to the dog park. U can just go & play w/ the dogs and if someone asks which one's yours u can say "haha, yeah"
24.
I will pet your dog until you call the police
25.
dog: me: i would die for you
26.
this could be us