25 Brutally Honest Confessions From A GP

    Please stop putting your dicks in our eyes.

    Hilary Mitchell
    by Hilary Mitchell

    BuzzFeed Staff, UK

    1. A lot of guys forget to wear underpants to consultations.

    youtube.com / BuzzFeed / FX

    And it always seems to be the ones who insist on taking their trousers off for a knee exam. Just roll up your trouser leg instead: We don't want your dick in our eye.

    2. And even more people forget to have a wash.

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    Sorry, guys, but just because we're GPs, it doesn't mean we don't have a sense of smell. At least break out the Lynx Africa or something.

    3. Although you do get over the grossness after a while.

    4. Ten-minute appointments are a nightmare for us too.

    5. It's never OK to show up late.

    6. And we hate it when you're rude to the receptionist.

    7. We know when you're lying to us.

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    We can only help if you tell the truth. There's no point claiming that you've been taking your tablets every day when we know your prescription ran out a month ago.

    8. We multiply the number of units you claim to drink a week by about four.

    Twitter: @parksandrecnbc / NBC

    Look, we're human too and know it's hard to stick to the unit allowance. You can be a bit more honest. Drinking too much is bad for you, though, we're not going to lie.

    9. Though we don't always practice what we preach.

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    We don't always eat healthfully, more GPs smoke than you might expect, and we sometimes drink too much. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't take our advice.

    10. We get hit on quite a lot.

    11. We get shouted at a lot, too, and it's never fun.

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    We can't deal with all problems in 10 minutes. We're sorry if you do have to wait for a while, but please don't come in yelling at us. It just slows things down even more.

    12. If you're enough of a dick, we can actually de-register you.

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    Which involves asking you to find a new GP. Patients get "fired" for violence, abusing staff, and failing to attend appointments, among other things.

    13. Although we're sometimes not that upset when you don't show up.

    14. Getting thank-you cards is a real highlight.

    15. The media get on our tits (and lie) a lot.

    16. No one gets annoyed that we don't work at weekends.

    17. We hate daft questions too.

    18. Writing pointless sick notes to placate your HR team is pretty frustrating.

    19. But that's not nearly as annoying as dealing with people who want notes for a no win, no fee claim.

    20. But Dr Google is the biggest pain in the ass of all.

    21. You don't get special treatment just because you don't visit the surgery often.

    22. Newsflash: We're not that young.

    23. We don't want to diagnose our friends' medical issues.

    24. We (kind of) talk about you behind your back.

    25. We genuinely love what we do.