1. Firstly, Scottish men don't all dress like this.
2. In fact most of us don't own a single piece of tartan clothing.
3. And we're not all pale and/or ginger.
4. We don't all live in castles either.
5. But we do side-eye your attempts to make fake ones.
6. We absolutely love American food.
When Scotland's first Krispy Kreme store opened in Edinburgh, people queued for over 2hrs for a precious, precious doughnut. And it was worth it.
7. In fact, Scotland and America are practically food twins.
8. Scotland in summer doesn't actually look like this.
9. This is a little more accurate.
10. It doesn't snow all the time in winter, either.
There's a reason we invented the word driech. And the words "Hurricane Bawbag".
11. It annoys us a bit when you get our geography wrong.
12. Also, we don't want to hear about your Scottish ancestors.
13. We would kill for just one of your theme parks.
M&Ds in Strathclyde doesn't have quite the same appeal as Disney World. That's one castle you actually got right.
14. Your attitude to drinking seriously confuses us.
15. And while we're on the subject, our beer is much, much better than yours.
16. We don't all like whisky.
17. You're not legally obliged to try haggis when you visit.
18. We love American TV shows and movies.
Scottish TV is a bit... well, let's just say we'd rather be streaming Breaking Bad than watching a repeat of Take The High Road on STV.