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24 Confessions Scottish People Have For Americans

We've been lying about whisky for years.

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2. In fact most of us don't own a single piece of tartan clothing.

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And we secretly chuckle when we sell you guys a kilt.

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3. And we're not all pale and/or ginger.

Tartan Turban in London! This is Thomas Rattray Tartan from old Sikh Regiment. @PlymouthChaz @Raj_Tigerstyle

Just a friendly reminder: You can be Scottish and non-white.

7. In fact, Scotland and America are practically food twins.

Deep-fried Twinkies are basically the deep-fried Mars bar's long-lost cousin. And we'd all love to try deep-fried bacon: we'll swap you for some deep-fried pizza. You can keep the deep-fried butter though, cheers.

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12. Also, we don't want to hear about your Scottish ancestors.

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It's nice that your great-great-great-grandpop was a McTavish from Inverurie, but unless we're related to him it's not that relevant to our lives.

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14. Your attitude to drinking seriously confuses us.

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We've heard you often stop at the bar for just one beer after work. ONE BEER. Where's your commitment? You should be rolling home at 3am.

15. And while we're on the subject, our beer is much, much better than yours.

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Apart from Tennent's, which basically tastes of soap. It's still way more delicious than Bud Light though.

17. You're not legally obliged to try haggis when you visit.

.@TrimBiggs and I tried haggis and blood pudding on our last day in Edinburgh. Tim described the haggis as "soapy".

We know you can't get it in the U.S., but it's not compulsory. If you think it sounds gross, don't eat it. Don't Instagram it. Just have a sandwich.

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19. Some of your Scottish celebs are a bit of a mystery to us though.

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We kind of know who Craig Ferguson is, but we don't get The Late Late Show here, so he's not really on our radar. We're pleased he's done well though.

23. When all's said and done, we're honestly really happy that so many of you love Scotland.

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It makes us feel very warm and fuzzy inside. Even when you inexplicably decide to pair a kilt with a Fonz-style leather jacket.

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