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18 Things People From Edinburgh Really Don't Want To Hear

"Do you know J.K. Rowling?"

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1. "Glasgow's music/food/shopping scene is better."

Why you shouldn't say this: Sure, Glasgow's grub is good, it hosts plenty of gigs, and it's shops aren't bunched up in a long line, but Edinburgh is a food paradise with no shortage of music venues and amazing vintage stores. Don't be a hater.


6. "Edinburgh must be so boring the rest of the year."

Why you shouldn't say this: We know the festival is amazing, but Edinburgh is just as good every other month, if not better. You should visit in July or September; you might like our city even more when you're not tripping over student drama groups.


9. "OMG, it's just like Harry Potter!"

Why you shouldn't say this: We love that you think Edinburgh is pretty, but it's a living, breathing, working city, not a Hogwarts film set. Plus Edinburgh pre-dates J.K. and H.P. by about 1,200 years or so. Just appreciate it on its own terms.

11. "Glaswegians are much friendlier."

Why you shouldn't say this: Really? Have you ever googled the term "Glasgow kiss"? Edinburghers might be a wee bit tetchy at times (the tone of this article being a case in point) but we're just as friendly, funny, and welcoming. Honest.


13. "The parliament building is so ugly and weird-looking."

Why you shouldn't say this: Firstly, have you been inside? It's pretty amazing. And secondly, yes, it might look like a car park covered in plastic toilets, but it's our car park covered in plastic toilets and we're the only ones allowed to slag it off.

14. "Everyone who lives in Edinburgh is English."

Why you shouldn't say that: Yes, Edinburgh is home to quite a few English expats (including J.K. Rowling) and graduates who decide to stick around, but so are plenty of other cities in Scotland, even Glasgow. In short: No.

15. "Is that [insert iconic building name here] real?"

Why you shouldn't say this: It's a city, not a theme park. Why wouldn't it be real? The High Street isn't a painted backdrop, and the castle isn't a flat pack from IKEA that we put away whenever tourists aren't around. So now you know.

16. "Isn't Leith a bit... rough?"

Why you shouldn't say this: Like all ports, Leith can be a bit down to earth, but it's certainly not dangerous. It's got three Michelin-starred restaurants, for Proclaimers' sake. It's also friendly, welcoming, and has some of the best pubs in town.

17. "Do you want a flyer?"

Why you shouldn't say this: We live here, we don't want to be constantly handed armfuls of useless paper-spam about one-man duck musicals every August. Bother the people who are wandering around saying: "It's just like Harry Potter!" instead.

18. "How do I get to the castle?"

Why you shouldn't say this: If you're desperate for directions, just ask. But please don't flag down a passing bus to quiz the driver. Also, you could try looking up: It's perched on a rock above the city. Or you could just BUY A FREAKING MAP.