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18 Brilliant Scottish Comebacks For Everyday Situations

Because no one does insults quite like us.

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1. When someone tells you that you've put on weight.

2. When your colleague decides to eat an egg and tuna sandwich at their desk.

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3. When you apply for a job but you're told "you need more experience".

4. When your unemployed flatmate comes home drunk and wakes you up on a weeknight AGAIN.

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5. When you're at work and a customer complains about something that wasn't your fault.

6. When an annoying colleague corners you when you're on a break and asks you to do them a favour.

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7. When your boss spends an hour talking about the holiday they just went on that you could never afford.

8. When tourists don't understand your accent and ask you to repeat directions 15 times.

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9. When you lie and tell a friend you're too sick to go out, then bump into them later that night.

10. When you overhear a particularly juicy piece of gossip at work.

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11. When someone publicly tags someone else in their Facebook status to thank them for something.

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12. When you see teenagers at a festival wearing a onesie with Uggs.

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13. When you're unemployed and someone you know starts bragging about their new job.

14. When you agree to meet your friend for a pint but they drag you to a hipster coffee bar instead.

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15. When you go into an upmarket shop and the staff look down their noses at you.

16. When you're in Edinburgh during the Festival and people keep trying to hand you flyers.

17. When you're working on a project but the person in charge keeps ignoring you, and your suggestions.

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18. When a drunk, overemotional friend won't stop talking about how much they love their SO.