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23 Things All Melburnians Secretly Love But Pretend To Hate

Time to 'fess up.

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1. Puffer jackets.

We claim to hate them, because they're so suburban. But walk through the city on a winter's day and you'll find yourself adrift in a sea of puffer jackets.

2. The rivalry with Sydney.

It's hard to be mad when your city is clearly the winner. Though it's a lot of fun to play it up.

3. Crazy weather.


What else would we have to complain about?

4. Myki

Admit it... it's actually not that bad a system. Plus it's given us some glorious memes.
Gramercy Pictures / Via

Admit it... it's actually not that bad a system. Plus it's given us some glorious memes.

5. Having ~first world problems~.

Our pain is constant, sharp, and secretly enjoyable.

6. Hook turns.

Hook turn confusion is for out-of-towners, and we'll fiercely defend it as an efficient traffic management system.

7. Spring racing season. / Via Twitter: @boysycallan

Again, we're in it for the memes (and judging people's fashion/drunken antics).

8. Neighbours


It's never been cool to like Neighbours, but every Melburnian has a soft spot for the fictional suburb of Erinsborough.

9. Asking people what school they went to.


The official term for doing this is "micro-aggression" and it's a total Ja'mie King power move. But tbh, we can't help ourselves.

10. Bad buskers.

The Cookie Monster playing the bagpipes on Flinders Street? Yes, please. A bunny playing irritating electric guitar solos at 8am? Sign me up.

11. Hipster beards.

We liked them before they were mainstream.

12. Novelty lattes.

If avocado is to blame for our housing woes, we're going to enjoy it in as many ways as possible.

13. Deconstructed food

Doesn't it make breakfast more fun when you get to assemble it how you like? Plus, it's way more Instagrammable this way.

14. The northside vs. southside debate.

Warner Bros. Television

Punt Road is the enforcer of our city's own social apartheid.

15. Trips to Ikea.

Fox Searchlight Pictures

Sure, it's mainstream as hell but who can resist the urge the reenact the scene from 500 Days of Summer and scarf down a $1 hotdog?

16. Interstate dim sims.

You can't go to South Melbourne Market every week.

17. Pretentious wine descriptions.

Lionsgate Television

"Pleasantly complex, this intensely seductive blend binds full-bodied leather notes with wafts of fair-trade organic chocolate and dank musty armpits on the #86 tram."

18. Being awkward.

Focus Features

We Melburnians love to brag about how awkward we are in social situations, despite actively seeking out social situations to be awkward in.

19. Explaining the different types of coffee to tourists.


It would be un-Melburnian not to deliver the spiel with a hint of superiority.

20. Restaurants that don’t take bookings.

20th Century Fox

There's no feeling more smug than finally getting seated at Chin Chin and letting the whole world know about it.

21. Letting loose at karaoke.

Focus Features

Nothing beats a good drunk singalong in front of complete strangers, so long as you pretend to be embarrassed about it the next day.

22. Staying in.


Yes, it's fun to go out, but sometimes we secretly love to put on our favourite animal onesies and snuggle up on the couch.

23. And being called "sooo Melbourne".

Warner Bros.

Oh stop it. STOP IT! (Please don't stop it).