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8 Signs You Need To Cool It With The Hot Sauce

Do your stomach a favor and don't be like these people #FITMFAIllustration

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1. Physical Disfiguration

Your jaw literally melts off after every meal
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

Your jaw literally melts off after every meal

2. Tastebud Malfunction

Your tastebud receptors officially stop working
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

Your tastebud receptors officially stop working

3. Involuntary Flames

Everything you touch starts on fire
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

Everything you touch starts on fire

4. Perma-Stache and Perma-Plump

When you develop a permanent hot sauce mustache, or even worse...your lips becomes permanently swollen from spicy sauce intake, like a bad DIY version of Lisa Rinna
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

When you develop a permanent hot sauce mustache, or even worse...your lips becomes permanently swollen from spicy sauce intake, like a bad DIY version of Lisa Rinna

5. Wishful Thinking

You start daydreaming about all food being covered in hot sauce...and I mean all of it
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

You start daydreaming about all food being covered in hot sauce...and I mean all of it

6. Solitary Existance

No one will come over and eat your cooking for fear of melting
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

No one will come over and eat your cooking for fear of melting

7. Secret Bottles

You keep an emergency stash under your desk for quick hits
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

You keep an emergency stash under your desk for quick hits

8. Hot Seat

You cancel all meetings and are glued to the toilet the morning after hot wing night
Illustration by Hilary Hubanks

You cancel all meetings and are glued to the toilet the morning after hot wing night

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