3. Chia Pet
See, this is the sort of thing you receive from an estranged aunt in the mail. It goes into the garage never to be seen or heard from again. Kind of like your estranged aunt. No one wants their present to be responsibility for tending to a weird looking plant.
4. Sexy Lingerie
Just don’t do this. It’s like saying, “Hey, your underwear isn’t sexy enough, so I bought this gift for myself.” Plus, when you buy something that’s three sizes too small because you don’t know how to shop for women’s underwear, your girlfriend will say you think she’s fat.
5. Minted Collector Coins
With this, you’ll tell your friend/family member that your gift is money you put on display on their dresser. Then they’ll think, well okay, it’s not creative or personal, but at least I can spend it on something I like. Then you’ll have to explain to them that they can’t. Because this money can’t actually be used to buy stuff. But, hey! It’ll look really good on display in the back of their closet.
10. Bath Gift Basket
You know what makes a great gift? Four bottles of bathroom products that all smell exactly the same. That way, your friend can smell like “Christmas Cookies” all year round. But this does come in handy because your friend needs to regift this to their boss for some extra vacation days.
11. Sea Monkeys
Your kid asked for a puppy, but you don’t want to end up taking care of their puppy. So you get them an alternative, which at first seems exciting because it’s a pet and they don’t understand that sea monkeys are not monkeys that live underwater. Imagine their disappointment when they realize their new pet is microscopic brine shrimp.
It’s obvious you forgot about this person during the Holiday season when you get them a candle. Unless that person happens to be this kid. Also, great choice on the scent. I’ve always wondered what “white clouds” smelled like. Now I know it smells like dryer sheets.
16. Kiddie Tazer
How this become a sellable product, I’m not sure. Unless it’s sponsored by OWS. In that case, for Christmas, prepare your child for the consequences of peaceful protests!
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