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    17 Gifts That You Should Never Give Anyone For The Holidays

    Holiday shopping has been going on for a couple weeks, so here's some tips on what you should NOT be buying for anyone, ever. No, seriously.

    1. McDonald's Drive-Thru Center

    Via amazon.com

    This is one way to tell your kid "Hey, you know what's fun? Being a fry cook at McDonald's!" Really? Does pretending to sell your imaginary obese friends fast food sound exciting? No, it sounds like a bad set up for a future career.

    2. Rock Tumbler

    Via amazon.com

    Do you know what this does? It takes rocks and makes them into smoother rocks. So basically, you're giving someone a rock for the holidays. Gee, thanks.

    3. Chia Pet

    Via amazon.com

    See, this is the sort of thing you receive from an estranged aunt in the mail. It goes into the garage never to be seen or heard from again. Kind of like your estranged aunt. No one wants their present to be responsibility for tending to a weird looking plant.

    4. Sexy Lingerie

    Via fashionforlunch.com

    Just don't do this. It's like saying, "Hey, your underwear isn't sexy enough, so I bought this gift for myself." Plus, when you buy something that's three sizes too small because you don't know how to shop for women's underwear, your girlfriend will say you think she's fat.

    5. Minted Collector Coins

    Via catalog.usmint.gov

    With this, you'll tell your friend/family member that your gift is money you put on display on their dresser. Then they'll think, well okay, it's not creative or personal, but at least I can spend it on something I like. Then you'll have to explain to them that they can't. Because this money can't actually be used to buy stuff. But, hey! It'll look really good on display in the back of their closet.

    6. Generic Box Set Cologne

    Via johnthrasher.wordpress.com

    Just because your nephew is now the budding, socially awkward fourteen year old who just started high school doesn't mean he should smell like the Jersey Shore. Put down that cologne from Walgreens.

    7. Hitler Doll

    Via ukrainians.ca

    This is a real doll and it shouldn't be given to anyone, ever.

    8. Stripper Pole for Children

    Via todaystoptoys.com

    You're walking through the kid's aisle at your local Walmart. You then see this. If your initial reaction is that your daughter would enjoy it, then we're calling Child Protective Services right now.

    9. Cheap Makeup Kit

    Via makeuperphotos.com

    So you forgot to buy your niece a present this year. On the way to the family Christmas party you stop by the local CVS to pick something up. And now your niece is going to look like a cheap prostitute.

    10. Bath Gift Basket

    Via teddybearsketandfriends.com

    You know what makes a great gift? Four bottles of bathroom products that all smell exactly the same. That way, your friend can smell like "Christmas Cookies" all year round. But this does come in handy because your friend needs to regift this to their boss for some extra vacation days.

    11. Sea Monkeys

    Via amazon.com

    Your kid asked for a puppy, but you don't want to end up taking care of their puppy. So you get them an alternative, which at first seems exciting because it's a pet and they don't understand that sea monkeys are not monkeys that live underwater. Imagine their disappointment when they realize their new pet is microscopic brine shrimp.

    12. This Upsetting Doll

    Via todaystoptoys.com

    Whatever this is, don't get it. I don't know what it does, or why it exists.

    13. Candles

    Via my-favorite-things.ecrater.com

    It's obvious you forgot about this person during the Holiday season when you get them a candle. Unless that person happens to be this kid. Also, great choice on the scent. I've always wondered what "white clouds" smelled like. Now I know it smells like dryer sheets.

    14. Pee & Poo Stuffed Animals

    Via babble.com

    Here's a present to give your child if you want them to form an unnatural bond to their bodily functions. I mean, look at those doughy eyes! How can you flush when you've got something so adorable staring back at you?

    15. Fruit Cake

    Via whatscookingamerica.net

    I think this goes without saying. Nobody likes them, nobody eats them, and they make tacky paperweights. Why people insist on making these regardless is a Christmas mystery

    16. Kiddie Tazer

    How this become a sellable product, I'm not sure. Unless it's sponsored by OWS. In that case, for Christmas, prepare your child for the consequences of peaceful protests!

    17. The Twilight Series

    Via jillstanek.com

    Because if you're buying this for someone who hasn't read Twilight yet, spare them. If you're buying it for someone who has already read the trilogy, please, don't enable them.

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