1. Doug Hutchison turns out to be Courtney Stodden’s father
2. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore/ Will Smith & Jada Pinkett wife swap
3. Charlie Sheen turns over a new leaf commissions rehab center called “‘Bi’-Your Side Coping Center for Those Who Want to Win”
4. Rick Perry sends inappropriate Pics to Anthony Weiner
5. Justin Bieber is actually father of Mariah Yeater’s baby
6. Michelle Bachmann’s eyes are sent back to their home planet
7. Kim Kardashian loses everything in divorce, forced to work retail
8. Lady Gaga dresses normally
9. Ryan Gosling is actually a woman carrying George Clooney’s baby
10. Kristin Stewart shows emotions resulting in her head exploding
11. Lindsay Lohan’s teeth go on vacation
12. The Jersey Shore new season takes place in monastery instead of Italy
13. Robert Pattinson’s jawline files for divorce
14. Macho Man Randy Savage is resurrected
15. Rebecca Black announces her early retirement from booming music career
- Top Mexican soccer player Alan Pulido has been rescued after he was kidnapped outside of his hometown in Tamaulipas.
- Yep. Marco Rubio said he's sorry for implying Donald Trump has a small penis.
- Lights have turned Australia's most iconic buildings into seriously psychedelic works of art.