13 Places You Should Never Take Your Kids

There are plenty of kid-friendly establishments out there to choose from, so don’t make the mistake of picking any of these places. It would just be terrible for all of us.

1. Prom

…unless you want your child to know that you resented them for ruining the way you look in that prom dress.

2. A Strip Club

…unless you want to give them a wholesome lesson on respecting women.

3. Weddings

…unless you want everyone to stare at your crying baby during the ceremony. This also applies to ANY movie outside of Pixar and Disney.

4. A shooting range

…unless for some reason you really want to trust your nine-year-old with a rifle.

5. Bars

…unless you’re ready to care for an alcoholic baby.

6. Your terrible bachelorette party

…unless you want your child’s first memory to be Karen puking out the window of a stretch hummer.

7. This Playground

…unless you want to ruin their childhood.

8. Online

…unless you want everyone to de-friend you on facebook for filling their newsfeed with pictures of your baby spitting up pureed peas.

9. Spring Break

…unless you want your kid to find out where their sibling is about to be conceived.

10. A porn shop

…unless you’re intent on depriving your child of their innocence.

11. An upscale restaurant

…unless you want your expensive meal served in hell.

12. Chandelier store

…unless you want to buy 20 shattered chandeliers, courtesy of your kid.

13. Casey Anthony’s house

…unless. Well, you get it.

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