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24 Signs You're A Writer
Stop reading this: that book of yours won't write itself.
You've considered purchasing, and/or have been gifted an old and barely working typewriter.
You own a multitude of journals in every size, shape, and color.
Your Amazon book wishlist is staggering.
You hate any and all so-called 'real' jobs.
Jo March is your spirit animal.
You sometimes inhale the pages of old books like that sh** is crack.
You're always listening to other people's conversations.
You’re paranoid that if you tell other writers your brilliant ideas, they'll steal them and become famous and rich and scoff at your pitiful cardboard box life.
You wear glasses (or secretly wish you did).
No one understands you.
And sometimes you attack people for using the wrong form of "your/you're".
You often wake up thinking you've just developed the plot for your new novel, scribbling on your arm or whatever is closest.
You dream of someday writing in some New York apartment with brick walls and plenty of sunshine.
Your opus stays locked away for years, until you're ready to reread- and subsequently burn- its trite pages.
No one wants to watch TV with you because you're constantly deconstructing character motives and predicting the endings.
You read and reread your favorite authors, hoping they'll rub off on you in a non-obvious way.
You hate almost everyone yet find them irritatingly fascinating.
You think you're a lot funnier than you actually are.
You're constantly broke. Like, constantly.
Sometimes the simplest experiences are so profound, you have to write about them immediately.
You were the only person in the theater who thought Midnight in Paris was laugh-out-loud funny.
You drink gin and call yourself a Nothinghead at parties, hoping it will work as a pick up line.
And when the coffee runs out, well, the writing runs out too.
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