20 Things That Are Better Than Getting Laid
A decent shit.
It's always debatable when someone says, "There's nothing better than sex." So next time some fuckboy asks you what’s better, you can use this handy-dandy list as a resource:
Your fave song is definitely at the top of the list.
Or sharing a good laugh with your friends until your insides hurt.
And giving all of your attention to a cute puppy is one of the best feelings in the world.
How about waking up and realizing that you don't have to get ready for work because it's the weekend?!
Yeah, there’s no debate that nachos are better than sex.
Or burying your face in your laundry because it smells like heaven.
That moment when your day is stressful AF and you find a little piece of heaven.
Of course, killing an entire bottle of wine.
When you randomly put your hand in your pocket to find a little cash.
And then spending all that money on shopping.
Watching a really good, thought-provoking movie.
Naps. Any time, any place, any day.
OMG the stress you feel when you think a high five is about to be awkward and it turns out to be a perfect one.
And anything with "free" and "food" in the same sentence.
If someone thinks that an orgasm is better than payday...really reconsider being their friend.
The moment when you finally reach that impossible itch on your back and scratch the hell out of it.
Or that moment of relaxation while you're getting a massage.
It's a relief only when you're not ready:
How about devouring doughnuts without worrying about calories or carbs?
And after all of that free food, back rubs, perfected high fives, and getting paid, there is nothing better than taking a shit for the books.