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20 Things That Are Better Than Getting Laid

A decent shit.

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It's always debatable when someone says, "There's nothing better than sex." So next time some fuckboy asks you what’s better, you can use this handy-dandy list as a resource:

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1. Your fave song is definitely at the top of the list.

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2. Or sharing a good laugh with your friends until your insides hurt.

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3. And giving all of your attention to a cute puppy is one of the best feelings in the world.

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4. How about waking up and realizing that you don't have to get ready for work because it's the weekend?!

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5. Yeah, there’s no debate that nachos are better than sex.

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6. Or burying your face in your laundry because it smells like heaven.

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7. That moment when your day is stressful AF and you find a little piece of heaven.

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8. Of course, killing an entire bottle of wine.

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9. When you randomly put your hand in your pocket to find a little cash.

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10. And then spending all that money on shopping.

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11. Watching a really good, thought-provoking movie.

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12. Naps. Any time, any place, any day.

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13. OMG the stress you feel when you think a high five is about to be awkward and it turns out to be a perfect one.

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14. And anything with "free" and "food" in the same sentence.

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15. If someone thinks that an orgasm is better than payday...really reconsider being their friend.

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16. The moment when you finally reach that impossible itch on your back and scratch the hell out of it.

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17. Or that moment of relaxation while you're getting a massage.

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18. It's a relief only when you're not ready:

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19. How about devouring doughnuts without worrying about calories or carbs?

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20. And after all of that free food, back rubs, perfected high fives, and getting paid, there is nothing better than taking a shit for the books.

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