The Definition of 'Ghosting'
For those unfamiliar with the term, please to refer to the definition given by trusty (and hilarious) online ‘dictionary’…The Urban Dictionary...
The Impact of Ghosting
For many who are seeking for something more serious, it is a highly irritating situation which has the potential to give you a big knock in confidence.
However, after being ghosted a few times myself, I have come to realisation that actually, if a prospect has ghosted you, they are not the kind of person you want to be with.
Ghosting is the cowardly way out and there is nothing worse than being with someone who cannot communicate or doesn’t have the decency to be upfront and honest about their thoughts.
So, before you start beating yourself up about their disappearance, bear the above in mind. It will help you to laugh off the situation and not to hold a grudge against your preferred gender and read some of the ridiculous reasons I have concluded from my past dating experience as to why the hell people are rude enough to do this…!
Reasons Behind Long-Term Ghosting
A Difference In Intent
Sadly, it is common practice for users of online dating apps to put their intent as ‘wants a relationship’ when all they want is a bit of fun. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise that if you put that you want ‘no commitment’ or ‘nothing serious’, you are missing out on a quite a proportion of the playing field.
For those who are looking to meet someone and have something long-term, this is a very unfair thing for someone to do but if it results in them getting what they want, I guess it is worthwhile for them…although, completely unacceptable and heart-breaking for the other party.
Sometimes, ghosting isn’t a sinister. Everyone knows that when unfortunate and emotional events happen in life, it can really take the wind of your lungs; leaving your numb and unable to continue with life as normal for a certain period of time.
Unless they’ve been visibly active on their social media and appear to be fine, it is best to think the worst and respect that something may have happened and just move on. If they like you enough, they will come back into your life when they are ready.
If you are one of these people that is big on messaging continually throughout the day, this can be a bit full on. Although the digital age has made this concept acceptable, it can still have a undesirable impact on a potential partner’s perception of you.
With this in mind, it is best to send messages in small doses over a long duration of time. Otherwise, it may come across that you are a bit possessive and keen, which can be off-putting.
A Change of Heart
When deciding whether you want to be with someone, it is important that you consider how that person is going to fit into your life and whether they are right for you. Sometimes, long periods of time not communicating can be a time of reflection and through this, the person you’ve been speaking to may decide that you aren’t right for them…although, it would be much better if they communicated that instead of leaving your questioning yourself.
Getting Serious Too Quickly
This is a particular issue for someone who still have an emotional attachment to a past lover or has recently come out of a long-term relationship which didn’t feel like a relationship by the end.
If two people are serious about being in a relationship and are talking, it is likely that there is nothing which can be said which will be remotely off-putting and anything concerning can be ironed out through a discussion but for those who think they want a relationship but aren’t certain may block you out of their life if they feel that they aren’t ready for such a commitment.
Having someone disappear suddenly after you seemed to have an amazing connection can be quite upsetting, but as the saying goes, there are plenty more fish in the sea!
Because of an Ex
If two people have been together on and off for a while, there is a good chance that this can happen again, even if they put their feet down and say ‘we are not right for each other’. As lovely as you are, you are new and people like to stick to what they know so if there are still feelings present, it is not unreasonable to assume that your prospect may have rekindled their relationship with their ex.
A Busy Lifestyle
Some people are social butterflies and have extremely busy schedules. I mean, it only takes a couple of minutes to write a reply to a Whatsapp message but sometimes, these type of people like to go against the modern grain and leave their phones in their pockets whilst spending quality time with friends and family. This is a usually classed a short-term ghost but if someone feels that you are too needy, we could be looking at a long-term situation here…