46 Things Everyone Who's Lived In Surrey For 10 Years Knows
The parakeets don't seem exotic for long.
1. Surrey is synonymous with posh to the rest of the UK population.
2. The line where Surrey ends and Greater London begins is a topic of great contention.
3. Although for people from Kingston there's no debate. They're Londoners.
4. And the same goes for Croydon.
5. Whereas people from Guildford believe Surrey starts in Godalming and ends in Woking.
6. Lots of celebs have lived in Surrey, like Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, Katie Price, Jacqueline Wilson, and the Dursleys.
7. Americans can't pronounce Surrey.
8. And when they can, they'll think you've never heard the "sorry" joke before.
9. So you just tell them you're from London.
10. Unless the American in question actually lives in Surrey, in which case they definitely own one of those mansions no one else can afford in Oxshott, Ottershaw, or Cobham.
11. The only other people who live in these houses are footballers.
12. At first, the parakeets seem really exotic.
13. But they're really, really not.
14. Kiss goodbye to Sunday morning lie-ins and say hello to the ear-piercing squawk of a small green bird from the Amazon that defied all odds and made it big in the London suburbs.
15. People from Surrey really like dogs.
16. Specifically Labradors.
17. There is a hell on earth and it's called the M25.
18. There is a heaven on earth and it's called Garson's Farm Pick Your Own.
19. The Dorking cockerel sculpture on the roundabout is a severely underrated piece of art.
20. Whenever English wine is mentioned on TV they will always mention Denbies. Always.
21. Finding a parking space for your Range Rover in the Bentall Centre is an eternal struggle.
22. Which is why there are so many Mini Coopers.
23. If you grew up here people will think you spent your childhood at boarding school, riding ponies.
24. When really you spent it drinking Lambrini in the park like everyone else.
25. Or if you went to boarding school you probably did both.
26. And hit up Casino/Oceana on your 18th birthday.
27. Hearing that your favourite band is coming to The Boileroom is life changing news.
28. And the same goes for New Slang.
29. Although everyone was a little upset that it moved back to The Hippodrome when McClusky's shut down.
30. Because even though McClusky's was shit, everyone sort of misses it.
31. It's Flares, not Popworld.
32. It's Oceana, not Pryzm.
33. Everyone remembers that one time someone from Surrey was on Bake Off.
34. And got eliminated in the first round for making beetroot cake.
35. People from Surrey take a lot of pride in Box Hill.
36. But it's really just a glorified bump.
37. Great for taking a Labrador for a walk.
38. Or hosting the 2012 Olympic cycling route.
39. Which people will talk about for decades.
40. And horrifyingly re-create in full Lycra regalia.
41. But really the cyclists just want to roll down the hill.
42. And annoy the people driving behind in cars.
43. Still better than being stuck behind a horse though.
44. Because #Stereotypes.
45. But as tempting as it might be to tell everyone that you're from London, don't. You will get rumbled.
46. Especially if you're from Guildford.