22 Classic Book Titles Made Better With Butter

Dispatches from Butter Books, the most wholesome literary blog on earth.

1. One Hundred Years Of Butter

“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover butter…”

2. In Cold Butter

“It is no shame to have a butter-face, the shame comes when you keep it buttered.”

3. Buttermorphs

“There was something missing. Humanity. Butter. Call it whatever you want. The words were right, but they were completely wrong.”

4. On the Origin of Butter

“One general law, leading to the advancement of all organic butters, namely, multiply, vary, let the strongest live and the weakest die.”

5. Butter for Algernon

“Thank God for books and butter and things I can think about.”

6. The Butter Also Rises

“‘This is a good place,’ he said.
‘There’s a lot of butter,’ I agreed.”

7. Butter, Pray, Love

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your butter every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind.”

8. Brave New Butter

“I want God, I want poetry, I want danger, I want butter, I want sin.”

9. Butter Girl

“Secretly, Blair had sewn a tiny gold butter pendant onto the inside of one of the sweater‘s sleeves, so that Nate would always be wearing her butter on his sleeve.

‘I love butter,’ Blair had told Nate breathily when she gave him the sweater.

‘Me too,’ Nate had said back, although he wasn‘t exactly sure if it was true or not.”

10. The Maltese Butter

“I couldn’t be fonder of you if you were my own son. But, well, if you lose a son, its possible to get another. There’s only one Maltese Butter.”

11. Never Let Me Butter

“All children have to be deceived if they are to grow up without butter.”

12. A Good Man Is Hard To Butter

“I guess a good man IS hard to butter!”

13. The Butter Mystique

‘Millions of women lived their lives in the image of those pretty pictures of the American suburban housewife, kissing their husbands goodbye in front of the picture window, depositing their stationwagons of children at school, and smiling as they ran the new electric waxer over the spotless kitchen floor. They gloried in their role as women, and wrote proudly on the census blank: ‘Occupation: butter artist.’”

14. Love In The Time Of Butter

“The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for butter.”

15. The Girl With The Butter Tattoo

“No, I don’t believe in butter, but I respect the fact that you do. Everyone has to have something to believe in.”

16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Butter

“Ah, butter,” he said, wiping his eyes. “A magic beyond all we do here!”

17. Our Bodies, Our Butters

“For us, butter education is core education.”

18. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Butter

“Did you ever milk this kind of cow?
Well, we can do it. We know how.
If you never did, you should.
Butter’s fun and fun is good!”

19. A Midsummer Night’s Butter

“If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these butters did appear.”

20. Their Eyes Were Watching Butter

“Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with butter.”

21. Everything Is Butter

“The only way to overcome butter is to consume it.”

22. Butter-Dick

“Butter me Ishmael.”

Butter excerpts by Colin Heasley, images by elusive chanteuse Sarah Van Name & Co. at Butter Books. Check the blog for more butter!

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