Or maybe you'll just use it for normal-person storage for like...candles and coffee table books. Either way, I can't stop obsessing over this table. I would make it my own personal Cave of Wonders (y'know, like from Aladdin). And the faux-marble aesthetic is super chic. NEED.
Promising review: "I always eat dinner on the couch because that's where the TV is, and let me tell you, this coffee table has really streamlined my ability to be grotesquely lazy. It's inconvenient having to, like, bend over and reach down to get the food in my face. Now the food comes up to me! Don't judge me, 'lazy' is just a more concise way to spell 'efficient.' I conserve so much energy, what I'm doing here is inspirational. Living in the future is so magical, and I'm glad you guys are here to share it with me. I have a pile of napkins and plastic cutlery stuffed into the compartment in the table, because I can never remember to grab napkins and utensils when I bring my food over to the couch and it's always a disaster because I have to decide whether to get back up or just roll the dice and lean into it. But no more!
Also, ever since I was little, I've loved Transformers, and this table is just like one of those except instead of a car it's actually furniture. After Michael Bay did unspeakable things to the franchise and crapped all over my childhood, I'd about lost hope, but this coffee table has inspired me to look past it and reclaim the nostalgia of my youth. God I hate Michael Bay so much." —Val
Get it from Amazon for $125 (available in black and brown).