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18 Real-Life Moments Gay Men Can Relate To

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1. Trying desperately to find your niche group within the community.


"I'm not a bear... am I?" It's normal to feel the need to find your place within this predefined forest of gay woodland creatures, but you'll come to realize that none of that actually matters when you're having a good time.

2. Or your niche position in the bedroom.

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Top? Bottom? Vers? Sub pig, total top, "just likes to watch"... The list goes on and on. It's important to know what you're comfortable with, but you'll have more fun if you think less about the title and focus on enjoying yourself. ;-)

3. Realizing having a threesome is an attainable reality.


There comes a time in every gay man's life when he realizes threesomes aren't just the stuff of fantasy. There are tons of willing couples and endless configurations out there to suit your fancy (if that's what you're into).

5. And then growing to hate going out completely.


Sometimes it can get a little old. There's no shame in taking a break, and the go-go boys will still be there when you decide to return to your bar of choice.

6. Getting cruised for the first time.


"You're not looking at me... are you?" Catching a pair of gay eyes (read: seductively locking eyes with another gay man) might lead to something more than quality material for your "personal time" later on that night. If you're feeling up to it, be daring. See where it goes!

9. Finding fellow gay co-workers in the workplace...


Befriending your fellow queers at work can be like having a support network of people who might understand you a little bit more than their straight counterparts.

11. Trying to integrate your straight best friend into the scene.


Not all straight best friends are created equal. If you've found a ride-or-die who's willing to get down and dirty, then you definitely have a true friend on your hands.

12. Finally finding the "perfect guy," but then finding the "other perfect guy" and being caught between both.

Who's gonna love you harder...? Some might casually date more than one person at a time, but for others that life just ain't for them. Do what feels most natural to you. Sooner or later you'll figure it out—or be perfectly happy with whatever comes your way.

13. Realizing that life doesn't have to be all about sex, despite what everyone may say.

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Gaydom can be an extremely sexually charged universe if you want it to be, but your sexuality doesn't have to define your every interest and activity. Live your life the way you want to live it! Eff the haters who say otherwise!

14. Saying the L-word to your boyfriend for the first time.

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It's a big step, but only say it if you mean it. If someone says it to you first and you're not quite there yet, don't fake it and lie. It's better to tell the truth than to lead someone on.

15. Learning to embrace — or at least be OK with — PDA.

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More often than not, PDA is just an expression of love and care. Even if it's not your thing, you deserve to exercise your right to publicly display your same-sex love to the world! Do what makes you comfortable.

16. Introducing your boyfriend to your family.

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"Neither of us is the girl. We are both boys, Grandpa!" Every family is different, but hopefully they will come to understand and accept you for who you are (if they haven't already).

17. Considering the "open-relationship" thing.

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There are endless opinions out there concerning what it means about you and your relationship and whether it's right for yours. But again, it's all about finding what's comfortable for you, your boyfriend, and your potential third. ;-)

18. And most importantly, being comfortable in your own skin.


Love yourself, hunty! One of the hardest things for a gay man to do is find complete self-acceptance. Living an authentic life free of shame isn't exactly a walk in the park, but only then can you go forward as the true you.