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Marriage: Expectation Vs. Reality

"And they both lived happily ever af— and they both lived."

Posted on January 13, 2015, 19:08 GMT

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1. Expectation: Joint accounts means you're rolling in dough.

Reality: Splurging used to be romantic, now you just feel irresponsible for wasting the family's money.

2. Expectation: You go on romantic tropical getaways over the holidays!

Reality: You're invited to several dinners by both sides of the family, and there's nothing tropical about it.

3. Expectation: Your family stops their sly jokes about when you’re getting married.

Reality: Now your family makes sly hints about grandchildren.

4. Expectation: You bicker for hours over petty things like toilet paper orientation.

Reality: TOILET PAPER ORIENTATION MATTERS. There can only be one victor.

5. Expectation: You finally start cooking together and making gourmet meals.

Reality: Nope, still takeout.

6. Expectation: You will finally become demure and responsible adults.

Reality: You're still the exact same people as before you were married (aka a couple of goofballs!).

7. Expectation: You have friends over for fancy dinner parties, and it's all very sophisticated.

Reality: You go to your usual bar and get just as shitfaced as before. (And you know who you're hooking up with later!)

8. Expectation: You get sick of each other and have less sex.

Reality: It only gets better. (You know what they say: "Practice makes perfect!")

9. Expectation: You will sleep in each other's arms every night until you grow old.

Reality: You will eventually be thwarted (by pets, children, snoring...) but it can be just as adorable.

10. Expectation: As time goes on, you get used to each other and maybe a little bit bored.

Reality: You know each other intimately — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and there's nothing more special.

Brett and Michelle navigate the realities of marriage in the new HBO comedy Togetherness. Watch Episode 1 for free on YouTube!