Vladimir Putin is a man of many talents: huntsman, horseback rider, judo expert, invader of countries, crooner of 1950s tunes.
But now, the 62 year-old president of Russia can apparently add another title to his resume: God of Ice Hockey.
Putin took to the ice this weekend in Sochi, the site of last year's Winter Olympics, as part of an exhibition game with Russia's Night Hockey League and SOMEHOW for the second year in a row his team came out on top.
Can you really be surprised when you look at the deft stick work that Putin — wearing number 70 like everyone else to commemorate the 70th anniversary of the end of World War II — displays here? It's almost like the defenders are standing still.
That goal was just one of an insane eight goals that Putin went on to score over the course of his team's 18 - 6 victory over the poor souls consigned to play for Team Not Putin.
For comparison's sake, Wayne Gretzky — one of the greatest hockey players of all time — never managed to score eight goals in a game during his career, only managing a paltry four games with five goals each.
But really, look at this shot. I haven't seen total domination on the ice like this since Iceland whomped Team USA during their first match-up of the 1994 Junior Goodwill Games.
You can watch the entire "game" — if you can call such a domination a game — here if that's how you want to spend your life.
Wayne Gretzky scored eight points in a game. An earlier version of this post misstated he scored eight goals in a game, which, for some reason, means something different.
Hayes Brown is a world news editor and reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Hayes Brown at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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