44 Things That Happen To Every Hairy Girl Who Shaves
Jeans are a hairy girl's best friend.
1. You spend about a third of your life in the shower.
2. You have to shave your legs EVERY DAY in the summer if you plan on going bare-legged multiple days in a row.
3. You’ve shaved your legs so you can wear shorts and ended up with noticeable leg stubble just hours later.
4. You’ve shaved just really specific sections of your legs so you can wear ripped or cuffed jeans.
5. And if you've ever shaved your thighs, you have lived to regret it.
6. A “reusable” razor practically becomes ruined after one use because it probably wasn’t designed to deal with that much hair.
7. You have to plan ahead if you want to wear a sleeveless shirt.
8. You’ve probably had to shave your armpits twice in one day because it grows back so fast.
9. And if you HAVE spontaneously worn a sleeveless top, you’ve done the awkward dance of not reaching your arms up fully when you've wanted to hide your hairy pits.
10. After spending literally an hour shaving in the shower, you’ve come out to discover you missed a whole patch.
11. And it’s always the same spot.
12. People often point out the state of your hairiness to you as if it’s brand-new information.
13. A few people have probably asked if they can “pet” your arm hair just to see how it feels.
14. They stare pointedly at your hairy knuckles.
15. And if it’s flip-flop and sandal weather, you better believe they’ll be noticing your hairy toes.
16. So, if you're really committed, you may have added shaving your hands, feet, and arms to your regular shaving routine.
17. You’ve taken a bracelet or watch off and ended up in agonizing pain after ripping out some arm hair.
18. And god forbid you ever injure yourself and have to wear a plaster.
19. If you ever get your face wet your eyebrows will spike around in all directions.
20. Your monobrow will definitely resurface if you leave it untouched for a week.
21. And while you were teased for your thick brows as a kid, you regularly get complimented on them now.
22. You’ve gone to get a particular body part waxed and been asked if you want another part you’d never even noticed you had hair on done too.
23. And you’ve definitely at least researched laser hair removal.
24. You acknowledge that shaving is a personal choice but you still low-key resent society for the internalised peer pressure.
25. The longer you’re in a relationship, the more chill you become about your body hair.
26. Nipple hairs are definitely a thing – it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re going to keep them.
27. And upper-lip sweat is the less talked about but equally annoying sidekick of your evergrowing upper-lip hairs themselves.
28. You know the smell of hair removal cream intimately after having regularly to inhale it for 10 minutes as it rests on your upper lip.
29. You’ve tried razors, epilators, creams, lasers, lights, machines: pretty much everything that exists to a varying degree of pain.
30. You’ve spent money on drugstore wax strips that do nothing but rip out two measly hairs.
31. And you’ve probably burned your skin or developed a rash at some point after trying a ~new~ ~foolproof~ hair removal hack or product.
32. When you’ve found something that does work, you have to use waaay more of it than the packaging says.
33. The shower drain becomes clogged with hair after every use.
34. And you somehow end up with hair in the sink, too.
35. You spend more money than the average person on shampoo and conditioner because you have so much hair on your head.
36. And you vacuum more than most because you shed so much hair.
37. Sometimes you alternate days of shaving your different body parts, so you don’t have to spend so long in the shower.
38. You’ve found patches of hair in the weirdest parts of your body and wondered if anyone else has hair there too, or if it’s just you.
39. Your not-so-rogue chin hairs need regularly attending to.
40. And you've been taken aback when you've noticed a long hair that you missed hanging off your chin in a well lit public mirror.
41. You’re more prone to ingrown hairs and it makes you want to give up shaving all together.
42. You respect your fellow hairy girls when they rock their body hair.
43. In fact, you definitely sometimes say fuck it and just embrace your naturally hairy body the way it is.
44. And TBH when you do, sometimes it’s nice to have a part of your body to pet while you lounge.