1. The fact that Eurovision's theme this year is "CELEBRATE DIVERSITY" but the hosts were three white men.
2. Belarus did a full impromptu snog at the end of their song.
3. And then the dude from Romania obviously didn't want to be left behind but uhhhh, it probably was not rehearsed.
4. Poland had this weird lyric that was mildly concerning.
5. And Norway followed with this equally worrying lyric that called for us to reach for our phones to call the cops before voting even began.
6. No really, is everyone in Europe okay?
7. Still, not as ridiculous as Romania and their romantic rap/yodel combination, accompanied by a glitter cannon in peak Eurovisionness.
8. Croatia won the spotlight when he basically sang a duet with himself.
9. Austria performed with a giant moon that resembled the DreamWorks logo.
10. Azerbaijan had a horse going up a stepladder for some reason and it was basically not acknowledged at all???
11. And the internet really had fun with the chalkboard she brought along.
12. This sketch halfway through was weird AF but reminded us what Eurovision is really about: hot men.
13. Italy had a literal dancing monkey with a rainbow bow tie centre stage in their performance.
14. And Italy's performance was generally just peak Italian.
15. Moldova's performance revolved around some truly fancy footwork.
16. And they kinda looked charmingly similar to a gang of penguins.
17. Moldova's epic sax man, who also performed in 2010, returned with pretty much the greatest glow-up of all time.
18. Then the Netherlands performed and their backdrop included what may have honestly been a cry for help.
19. Sweden's song involved running on treadmills while singing "I can't go on", which was kinda contradicting, but OK.
20. And obviously it couldn't quite live up to this legendary performance.
21. During interval this man literally mooned on stage with an Australian flag, which was a bit unexpected.
22. And then during the points, Katrina from the UK mentioned winning Eurovision in 1997. Then a host presenter responded that 1997 was the year he was born.
23. Salvador of Portugal reacted hilariously literally every time he received any votes.
24. Portugal was swiftly proclaimed the winner, and obviously Salvador's reaction was obviously really, really sweet.
25. Which he followed with a really heartwarming rant about the importance of ~feeling~ in music.
Till next year, Eurovision. Thank you for 2017.
The performer in 3 were from Romania. An earlier version of this article said they were representing Belgium.