1. Incessantly talk about how straight you are whenever you hang out.
2. If you're stuck changing in a confined space, spare your friend of having to look at your body.
3. Introduce your friend as "my gay friend".
4. Stop complimenting them.
5. Only consume heteronormative media.
6. Don't laugh at their jokes.
7. Catfish your friend.
8. Become repulsive.
9. Call the cops.
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