27 Things You Learned While Living In Manchester
"City or United?"
You avoided the back of the bus like the plague.
Your school had an ongoing rivalry with another school for no apparent reason.
You always met your friends outside Burger King in Piccadilly Gardens.
And everyone at school would say their clothes were from "Primarni".
And you became an elitist after your first eye-opening trip to Afflecks.
You took pictures with every cow during the Cow Parade.
Beautifully painted sculptures in our crumbling city made Manchester a paradox in 2004.
You've probably seen the famous shirtless rabbit man around at some point
You remember queueing up for your first gig at The Academy.
The MEN and Apollo may keep switching between being the Manchester powerhouse venue, but we all enjoyed our Academy gigs the most.
You perfected the art of dodging the guy selling mixtapes on Market Street.
And desperately tried not to make eye contact with any of the statue people.
You learned to not bother trying to get a seat at the Arndale food court.
And you immediately broke into a jog upon hearing, "Oops, you dropped your smile."
Any time you mention being from Manchester, someone will ask you "United or City?"
You know that crisp butties are the absolute best hangover cure.
You often find yourself craving a nice corned beef hash.
And you know that meat pie and gravy is best washed down with a cold can of vimto.
Everyone pronounces "couldn't" like "c*nt".
Every sentence starts with "I swear down" and ends with "you know what I mean?"
And you have no concept of grammar in expressions like "I'm going town."
The Christmas markets were equally exciting every year, even though it was excruciating to walk through the crowd.
You wouldn't blink twice if you saw this man walking outside.
And most importantly, wherever you are in Manchester, you know that there is a Greggs just walking distance away.
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