back to top

24 Tweets You'll Laugh At For No Real Reason

"Every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl."

Posted on

1.

[son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's that Son: it's our house Me [walks outside with son]: do you see how it absolutely isn't?

2.

can i get uuuuuh one unhappy meal

3.

genie: please no millipede: more legs

5.

This is the weirdest tom and jerry memorabilia I've ever seen. It's too minimalist it looks like it's from their we… https://t.co/XFMt8DMD2p

6.

7.

Delivery guy: Could I use your toilet? Me: Yes sure it's the door under the stairs. Delivery guy: Which one? Me: Er… https://t.co/GOtRgbkxsd

9.

I guess I'm not going to Target anymore

10.

When you're trying to summon a bat demon but there's a typo in your spell book

11.

imagine having sex and he says "say my name baby" but his name is gilbert

12.

13.

[blind date] HER: I'm a big country fan ME {trying to impress her}: China is very large

14.

15.

every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby

16.

Oh my god this guy in this bathroom wearing a cowboy hat just greeted me with a "howdy brother" and I panicked and I said "yee haw"

17.

18.

just seen a sponge bob show on the tv. why the yellow man don't leave the octopus alone

19.

"I'd like you to paint me a cat." "A what?" "A cat. You do know what a cat is, right? You've seen a cat?" "Uh, yeah… https://t.co/RiTvmjM0Uy

20.

Fucking weird that if you wanna get to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping

21.

prank caller: is your refridgerator running ? me: how did you know i had a fridge

22.

*bangs toe* *never calls toe again*

24.

really just spent two minutes like "why would you shame someone with tuna?"

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss