77 Thoughts All Mancunians Have In The Northern Quarter
Welcome to hipster heaven.
1. Ooooh look! Some new graffiti!
2. Should I Instagram it?
3. No, everyone will have already Instagrammed it. I'm just going to walk straight past it.
4. Sod it, I'm Instagramming it.
5. Right. I need to head to Afflecks Palace. No visit to the Northern Quarter is complete without a visit to Afflecks Place.
6. My god, these stairs are steep.
7. Hang on, I'm lost. How did this happen already?
8. Vintage clothes are actually quite pricey in here.
9. Maybe I'll look for something similar in a charity shop now that I know what I want.
10. Used Doc Martens for £60? I mean, that's a lot.
11. Someone else's feet have been in them.
12. Oooh, I should get a henna tattoo. They're so intricate.
13. Is that cultural appropriation?
14. Afflecks is so cool. Why don't I come here all the time?
15. And come to think of it, a lamp made out of an old Jack Daniels bottle, steampunk goggles, and healing crystals was exactly what I was looking for.
16. OK, so it's not the most practical place to shop.
17. But it does have a cereal cafe inside it. And I do kind of fancy a bowl of Lucky Charms.
18. And I definitely need to get some American sweets. They've got Twizlers, Razzles, Darkside Skittles...
19. What the hell are Darkside Skittles?
20. Cyberdog looks a bit scary. It's so dark inside.
21. But maybe I should pop in for some neon fishnet shorts, or a Pac Man poncho.
22. No. Resist the pull of the techo music and mannequins with silver snake hair.
21. Right, it's time to get out of this maze.
22. There are so many record shops in the NQ.
23. Does everyone in Manchester own a record player?
24. Am I the only person who doesn't?
25. This is basically paradise for vintage clothing lovers.
26. No wonder everyone's wearing distressed dungarees and check shirts.
27. I'll have a look in Oxfam later. It should be cheaper than Cow and Blue Rinse.
28. Nope, it's Oxfam Originals — the priciest charity shop ever.
29. Northern Quarter is so busy.
30. And literally every person here is sitting outside drinking a flat white.
31. I really don't get the flat white phenomenon.
32. Better not say that too loudly.
33. Ah, the Adult Superstore.
34. The sign says that it provides friendly service for ladies and gentlemen.
35. Maybe I should go in? It might not be that seedy.
36. OK, it's really seedy.
36. It's just full of DVDs. Who buys porn on DVD?
37. Have they not heard of the internet?
38. I'm getting hungry now.
39. Soup kitchen smells really good, but I would have to sit at a really long table with a bunch of strangers?.
40. Maybe I should just splash out on a burger from Solita's.
41. My arteries will not thank me later on.
42. We should just go to Leo's Fish Bar.
43. You can't go wrong with Leo's.
44. It's definitely time for a beer.
45. Why is every single person in Manchester drinking in the Northern Quarter right now?
46. Where are all the cash machines?
47. Why do they all charge £1.50?
48. Whyyyyy didn't I get money out earlier?
49. OK fine. We'll get over the card limit by doing rounds.
50. But I always spend so much money when we do rounds.
51. OK, there are just too many bars to choose between.
52. I swear three new ones have opened since last week.
53. Let's just go in here.
54. It took at least 20 minutes to make that decision.
55. And it's going to take even longer for me to get served.
56. Maybe I should just push in?
57. No, I'm too polite to do that.
58. Besides, I'm quite enjoying checking out this bartender's incredible beard.
59. I wonder how look it took him to grow.
60. Maybe he has a special comb for it.
61. And he must use special oil.
62. Which craft beer do I want? They're all so posh.
63. And so expensive.
64. Oh my god so expensive.
65. But delicious! This was a good call.
66. Right, where's the smoking area?
67. Everyone's packed in there like sardines. Never mind.
68. Northern Quarter people look so ~quirky~.
69. Maybe I should bleach my hair.
70. And get a septum piercing.
71. No, I'd look ridiculous.
72. Maybe I'm just not indie enough for NQ.
73. What time is it?
74. I've spent so much money!.
75. Time for a cheeky pizza from Slice, then I'll go home.
76. I am definitely going home.
77. Maybe just one more beer.